LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Start digging your damn graves because two tall people have gotten together and are possibly planning world domination of some kind.
As a tall man, Ryan Core (26) usually has a good shot with the ladies, which is why some were surprised when he started dating Susie Anferth (27) who as a tall woman is used to scaring most men just by standing about not wearing heels.
Bonding over their hate for the legroom on cattle class flights, Core and Anferth have been dating for over a year, pleasing friends and family who want to see them happy as well as nosey mums who like to see people of the same height shacked up together.
“I’m tired of seeing tall men with really short girlfriends,” stated one such nosey mum, who asked to remain anonymous so she doesn’t offend anyone from the book club.
“Let the short men have the short women and let the tall women have the tall men. It just makes sense that way.”
One detail that family, friends and nosey mums alike may have overlooked is that Core and Anferths coupling may soon lead to the creation of superhumans that may use their superior build to conquer us all.
According to sources close to the towering couple, they have talked about a future which could involve children, many trips to those shops that make clothes for the super tall and a cartoonishly large stream of hand-me-downs.
“They seem very happy together,” stated one concerned friend.
“But maybe that’s just because they are planning on building an army of elongated super humans who will dominate us all as an inferior species and make us into their thralls.”
When asked about these plans, Core and Anferth refused to comment, either because the idea is ridiculous and offends them or because they’ve been rumbled.
MORE TO COME.