ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A student at the prestigious John Goss School of Art at the South Betoota Polytechnic College has today regaled his classmates with a log cabin story about a young adulthood spent living off packet ramen and long necks of bargain bin lager.

While emerging artist, Jarvis Saint Martin-Scollege (19) acknowledges that life is skint for most art students, his willingness to share such depressing anecdotes about the indignities that come with stretching his Youth Allowance payments to cover both paint supplies and a stifled social life suggests that he’s doing it tougher than most.

As Jarvis points out, one parking fine could blow out his entire weekly budget, because this government doesn’t respect the arts.

It is not known how much time he spends working on his practice, but those who have been exposed to these sob stories of youth poverty would be under the impression that he’s in the studio every single night – given the fact that he ‘doesn’t have the time’ to hold down a part-time job.

“Do you know how expensive it is to rent a flat above a shop” he says.

“It’s ridiculously expensive in this town. It’s not even fancy or anything either. I lay in my bed at night watching roaches climb the wall”

“I can’t even afford to smoke some fags and play some pool”

However, despite all the financial hurdles this aspiring modernist faces in his day to day life, his contemporaries predict he will do quite well upon graduation.

Both lecturers and fellow students say they are amazed at his networking skills. While his classmates are raiding the free bars at gallery openings, Jarvis is up the back of the room chuckling with the multi-millionaire gallery owners.

“For someone who doesn’t have a job, or doesn’t have much time to leave the studio. He knows a lot of pretty high profile art gallerists and art collectors” says classmate, Delkash (21, ceramics).

“I don’t know how he finds the time to network. Especially with all the charity work he does”

“Did you know he spends every winter helping poor people in the Greek Islands with his family”

“I hope he makes it one day. I’d hate for him to watch his life slide outta view”

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