EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A French Quarter bloke has earned himself a lifelong nickname over the weekend, after failing to store a bag of cocaine in his wallet properly despite only having it for roughly half an hour.

No doubt absolutely making some stranger’s weekend with this terrible faux pas, Jason Paxton is likely to have lost it in the small window of time it took to walk to his hotel room to the lobby bar, where his crew were waiting to, ‘fucking ascend.’

Assuring with a hushed whisper that ‘they were on’, Jason had beckoned his mates into his hotel room for a cheeky bump before they headed out, when he came to the shocking realisation that over $1K worth of nose beer was no longer wedged between his 50s – prompting all three members to let out a small scream.

“Cunt you’re not serious are you!?”,moaned Jack, “you can’t have lost an 8 ball of coke.”

“Check your pockets.”

Visibly paling as he patted down his pockets, a meek Jason mutters, “it isn’t there.”


“Fucking David Warner over here.”

“Alright, we’re checking your room mate.”

More to come.


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