EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

Lying awake at exactly 12:36 am, Amber Kennedy finds herself with the overwhelming urge to stalk her former classmates.

An urge that, if she’s being honest, does not come from a nice place.

No, she wants the dirt – who married a wanker, who never left their hometown, and which dux kid failed to live up to their potential.

God, she really is a bit of bitch, isn’t she?

But that’s okay, because she’s in the safe confines of her bedroom where she can have as many petty thoughts as she’d like, without fear of judgement. Though, yeah, if she finds anything interesting, she will likely be messaging one of her other mates from school with some screenshots.

Excitedly typing in the popular girl’s names into her Facebook search, Amber is disappointed to discover that just her, most of them didn’t really post to their profiles anymore.

But luckily, Instagram proved very bountiful as only half of her classmates appear to be on private and, oh my god, the biggest bitch of her year, Jescinta Halliwell, is sporting some major cleavage – and if Amber recalls, she did not have those at the year twelve swimming carnival.

Bringing the phone closer to her face, Amber scrolls through Jescinta’s profile to work out roughly when her arch nemesis got her brand new bolt ons, estimating that she got them done around March 2020.

More to come.

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