KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A proud member of the common sense brigade is celebrating a win today as he tucks into some workplace Birthday cake.
As a payroll manager at fintech startup Swayze Ltd, local bloke Dean Weston-Lacey is lucky enough to be employed at one of those workplaces that pulls everyone away from their desks to share some birthday cake for someone they sometimes see in the lift.
However as a swanky fintech company located in the leafy streets of Betoota’s French Quarter, it’s believed that the eclectic crowd of employees have meant Dean has had to suffer through a variety of birthday cakes.
“I’ve been here two months and in that time I’ve tried every different type of cake under the sun,” Dean told our reporter.
“Gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan, fodmap friendly, hell we even did a charcuterie board the other week cos one of the seniors doesn’t like ‘sweet things’.
Yet with a recession looming and the very real need to cut back on reckless in-house spending, The Advocate understands executives at Swayze Ltd have decided it’s time to reduce the birthday cake allowance by 80% and pair back celebrations considerably.
As the company moves forward with a reduced birthday budget limited to the spare change found in the office manager’s desk drawer, Dean told The Advocate he was thrilled to see the return of a family favourite, a Mud Cake from Woolworths.
“Honestly, how good is a Woolies Mud, this thing tastes just as good as it did when I had it for my 10th birthday,” proclaimed Dean, as he shovelled another hunk of spongy cake into his fat gob.
“Half the girls in the office have passed up on it cos it’s full-fat, full-sugar and is probably stacked with enough preservatives to keep it edible until Christmas.”
“But it honestly tastes so good, might as well have a third slice…”