In a bold move aimed at catering to foodies who believe that great cuisine must be accompanied by atrocious customer service and a lack of technology, a local takeaway spot has announced a radical shift in its approach.

The eatery, known for its cheap dishes and friendly atmosphere, has decided to adopt a new strategy by hiring rude staff and implementing a strict cash-only policy.

The decision, which has raised eyebrows among both customers and industry insiders, is the brainchild of the restaurant’s owner, Ahmad Shinwari (39).

The small business owner noticed that his competitor next door was doing a lot better business despite putting zero effort into the customer service experience.

“The shop next door has a lot more customers, these Aussies think that if they are treated badly and have to withdraw cash from the ATM next door then the food must be amazing, this is now our new strategy”.

“I am confident this will work,” Ahmed explained.

Some of Ahmed’s changes include hiring front of house wait staff that arrived in Australia a month ago who speak little to no English and a laminated hand drawn sign that simply says “CASH” at the main entrance.

The changes are already attracting rave reviews from foodies around the area.

“Yeah, you can definitely tell this place is the real deal, I had to walk 20 minutes down the road to get cash out before paying – usually you have to drive deep into the suburbs for that level of authenticity” says local food love Damien Cartwright (41).

“It’s such a good look when you take friends to your secret little restaurant and no one there speaks English, all my friends think I’m really cultured now” Says local influencer Piper Downes (25).

Ahmed is confident of the business pivot and is reportedly considering hiring child actors to pretend to do homework at the back of the restaurant.  


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