KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Litres of sloshing water can be heard cascading through the hallways of KPMG Betoota this morning, as a local girl faces the grim reality of returning to work.
Having spent the last five weeks living her best hot girl summer at her family’s beach house in Noosa, it’s alleged Junior Auditor Tara Elliot (25) is signifying to her colleagues that she needs a little extra emotional support as she fronts up to the realities of 9 to 5 work.
After reading up on the psychological benefits of staying hydrated over the weekend, it’s believed Tara spent last Sunday shopping for an emotional support water bottle in an attempt to start her year with renewed career energy.
However instead of joining her friends in buying a blush pink ceramic Frank Green bottle, a trusty Yeti Rambler, or an adorable glass flask with a feisty leopard print lid, Tara is reported to have slipped via Supercheap Auto on Sunday and purchase a vessel that truly reflects how much emotional support she needs.
Lugging a 20 litre jerry can with lemon scented water to her desk, it’s believed Tara nodded to several colleagues as she dragged herself to her overflowing inbox of emails.
“Yeah it’s big, but I’m aiming to drink a small swimming pool everyday,” Tara told our reporter, “It’s my way of staying hydrated, headstrong and harmonious…”
“I also bought some garden hose so I can fashion my own Kilimanjaro inspired Camelbak kind of setup, it’ll help me climb the mountain of emails I’m about to take on.”
“It’s going to be stressful day, I’ll probably need a refill by lunch!”
More to come