A New Year’s resolution is in tatters this morning after a local girl has discovered the downsides of embracing a juice cleanse.

Determined to break her poor habit of skipping breakfast and just sucking on a vape before work, local events planner Carly Spades (28) had reportedly vowed to kickstart her days in 2023 with a lean green smoothie, blended with flax seeds and an alternating roster of plant milks.

However it’s believed Carly’s new smoothie fandom is already on the ropes this morning, after discovering what happens when you leave a dirty protein shaker to marinate in its own juices for more than four hours.

Opening up her work handbag which had been cast aside on her dresser late last Friday night,Carly allegedly found what had been causing a pretty funky smell to develop in her bedroom over the weekend.

Pulling out the smoothie stained cup from her handbag, Carly realised that her blended mix of spinach leaves, banana and kiwi fruit had turned into a foul murky sludge, similar to the consistency of green algae.

Noticing that the smell had clearly begun to seep into the leather of her $500 Mimco tote bag, Carly decided that her whole New Year smoothie making routine would be getting binned before February.

“Fuck!” she grumbled, gritting her teeth as she carried the shaker out to her kitchen bin.

“Screw it, I’ll just get a hash brown on the way into work instead…”

More to come.


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