A local bloke is questioning his own masculinity this morning, after being too scared to take a dump at a set of rest stop toilets.

After a blissful early morning drive along the Pacific Highway, it’s believed local Chatswood man James Hustaway has been enjoying a truly euphoric road trip, as he kicks off a four day weekend to visit some coastie mates who live at South West Rocks.

However after pumping himself with three servo coffees and a breakfast pie at Heatherbraes, it’s understood Jame’s early morning feasts had caught up with him, and he was in dire need for a toilet as nature was calling.

Rolling his car into a public rest stop somewhere between Taree and Port Macquarie, James spotted a grim war bunker built from concrete cinder blocks, covered in some pretty hectic graffiti.

Gingerly prying open the heavy steel door with his knuckles, James was horrified to discover he’d have to sit on what can only be described as the world’s most morbid set of toilets, which looked like they hadn’t been cleaned since Easter.

Fashioned from cold, dull steel with little room for comfort, James told our reporter he’d rather take a shit in the woods like a Canadian Grizzly Bear, than sit for a few minutes on the ‘Goulburn Throne’.

“C’mon mate, you’re expecting me to sit on that thing and take a dump?” James whined to our reporter.

“Ughh it’s awful, it doesn’t even have any toilet paper!”

Pulling his phone from his pocket to google the closest Maccas, James huffed as he calculated just how stressful the next hour of his road trip might be.

“I might honestly shit my pants on the freeway, but I’d rather that than catching whatever diseases are on that toilet seat.”

“Unless you’ve got any rolls of paper towel in your car, I might need to head up that dirt track
over there.”


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