RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact

At this year’s Property Investment Symposium at Betoota Lakes Conference Centre, well-respected property experts were asked to solve the housing affordability crisis.

Astute property investor, Gerald Mosman (58), who owns 16 investment properties across Betoota, told a large audience that “falling house prices are adding fuel to the housing crisis and there’s nothing worse for housing affordability.”

Mosman, who throughout each year lives between his primary, secondary and tertiary homes chasing the sun, was asked by a slow audience member to elaborate on how falling house prices are bad for housing affordability.

“I’m glad you asked, young man,” Mosman said from the stage in his self-assured voice. “It is of course, prima facie, that falling house prices are the worst thing for housing affordability because…um. Well, because, um…”

Mosman’s expression grew dark. Minutes passed. Our reporter politely coughed to break the awkward silence engulfing the conference centre. Before Mosman could provide the answer to the affordability crisis, sadly he suffered a rare form of brain haemorrhaging and died painfully and instantaneously.

Later in the afternoon’s conference session, an even more astute investor, Sandra Goldsmith (60), spoke with The Advocate on the subject. Goldsmith has published articles in Realestate.com.au and Domain.com.au, as well as essays in numerous property journals funded by the Property Council of Australia. She shares Mosman’s views.

“It is, carpe diem, that falling house prices are the worst thing for housing affordability,” she explained.

When asked why, Goldsmith elaborated, explaining that “it is of course, inter alia, falling house prices are the worst thing for housing affordability because…um. Well, because, um…”

A terrible silence followed as Goldsmith appeared to freeze up. She began muttering a few more common Latin phrases like et cetera and ad hoc in the hope of sounding intelligent. 

Sadly, before she could provide the solution to the affordability crisis, she spontaneously combusted, leaving her dead.

The Symposium closed with no clear answer as to why falling house prices are the worst thing for housing affordability.

More to come.

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