LOUIS BURKE Culture | Contact

For some the simple mask rule is proving a difficult one to follow, as the nation’s self-styled free thinkers stand up for their rights to not wear a facemask, forcing the government to ask themselves the question; were all those education cuts really worth it?

This question comes as a string of Melbourne locals have taken to social media to film themselves crossing the Victorian border or burning a facemask despite the fact that people could literally die if they keep playing silly buggers for the camera.

Asking himself the all-important question is former treasurer Joe Hockey, who is now starting to wonder if giving equal or greater amounts of funding to private schools was really the best way to ensure quality public education.

“I mean, there’s always got to be a ruling class, but I didn’t quite know we were making the underlings so stupid,” stated Hockey as he sharpened his antique cigar cutter.

“Melbourne are meant to be the smart ones and look at them! Sydney’s gonna be fucked for sure now. Everyone knows Sydney copies everything Melbourne does.”

As is the tradition, Hockey also outlined several thousand ways the education system Labor’s fault and how Liberal policies have worked out better for those who came out of school still a bit too thick.

“Plenty of spending in the army so why not enlist today? You’ll have to wear a mask sometimes but you can cross all the borders you want!” 


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