RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact

The rather expensive yet hip boulangerie, Le Petit Manchot, has for years now been serving up the most delicious breakfast a yuppie can buy down in Betoota’s famed French Quarter.

This reputation is what convinced Betoota Ponds man, Hammy (27), to take his girlfriend, Becs (25), out for breakfast to the fine establishment they had been meaning to try out for ages.

On a Saturday, brunch time down along the enchanting promenades of the bustling French Quarter is naturally a dynamic experience, and Hammy was grateful he had booked a table in advance, such were the crowds.

The well-dressed waiter had sat them at one of the better window seats, one that proffered majestic views of the romantically cobbled stones of Rue de Branlette.

Judging by her fulsome smile, Hammy could tell Becs approved of the scene. He even found himself overcome with joy at just how lovely this had all turned out. So much so that he began to fondle the engagement ring that had been burning a hole in his pocket for the last 4 months.

The Advocate understands that as the sun revealed itself from behind clouds and engulfed the happy young couple in a moment of sun-drenched bliss, Hammy decided that this was the moment.

He pulled out the little black box from his pocket and placed it on the table.

“What’s this?” Becs said with a sparkle in her eye.

Finding the courage, Hammy said, “I love you, Becs. Will you marry -“

“OMG you put in an offer on that townhouse, whhaaat?!” a loud and obnoxious voice interrupted. It came from the table of 5 behind them, a group of yuppies with their phones out looking at realestate.com.au.

“I can use the equity in my principle place of residence as the deposit,” continued one of them, loudly.

The jarring situation made Hammy panic, and he quickly hid the ring back in his pocket.

“Nothing, Becs, ah, nothing.”

Becs glowered at the table of douchebags, cursing their lack of self-awareness.

‘We’ll rent it out’ / ‘It’s a long term investment’ / ‘Property values are recovering’ / ‘Toby and Lily bought in Hobart, can you believe it?’

Hammy and Becs spent the next hour in brooding silence while the nearby table loudly discussed the property market of Australia.

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