EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A local bloke who has priorly shown no interest in being the least bit progressive, has suddenly found himself very capable of using ‘they/them’, after his girlfriend enquired about his night with the boys.

At a loss as to how he could get around explaining that his mates had ushered over a group of exceptionally attractive women and that, yeah, he had flirted with them quite a bit, Aaron Loveridge figured his best bet was being as vague as possible – because as long as he still recounted the sequence of events, he wasn’t technically lying.

Flicking through his phone, Aaron tries to look as disinterested and guilt free as possible, and makes sure to thread enough information into parts of the story that were innocent to make it more passable.

“Yeah yeah it was really good”, says Aaron nonchalantly, “started off at the Shifty Hen and just played darts for a bit.”

“Ended up joining another table, they were pretty cool.”

“It was crazy though, Baz ended up landing this impossible shot on the pool table and he was just fucking around.”

“So funny.”

“Anyway, we all ended up going to the Nite Spot and danced a bit. Ryan got shitfaced and threw up in a schooner and left it there haha, it was pretty rank.”

“Ummm and then, yeah, I think Liam might have gotten with a bird but I’m not sure, I went home pretty soon after.”

“But how was your weekend!”

More to come.

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