ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Masks may be mandated on public transport but the enforcement differs from bus to bus, which is something a breeding pair of old bastards on the D45 bus seemed to relish in.

At the bus stop, David and Penny Watson saw the other people take their masks out of their jacket pockets to put them on.

They told The Advocate that for a minute, they felt a bit guilty but then remembered that because they’re asset-rich 65-year-old white heterosexual Australians, the world bends for them.

“I can’t believe people are still wearing masks,” David told The Advocate.

“COVID is over. I hate wearing masks, they’re so uncomfortable.”

Penny nodded and provided her husband with supportive little shoulder taps.

However, another bus passenger said he also hates wearing a mask on the bus.

He chose to remain anonymous but that didn’t stop him from putting the boot into the “selfish old bastards up the front”.

“I might have COVID, so I’m wearing a mask on the bus. Because if I give it to some fat old prick with a fucked ticker and lungs that look like garbage bags, chances are they’ll fucken die. If they don’t they’ll cost the taxpayer tens of thousands to save. If I can prevent that by wearing a little bit of ill-fitting material over my face for 15 minutes in the morning, then so be it. It’s a small price to pay for the greater good,” he said.

“Which is something these people need to understand. Not everything is about them like the property and income tax system is. They might have all the money in the world but if they get this delta, which is still floating around, it will fucking delete them quicker and a 15-year-old’s internet search history,”

“I don’t know, maybe this is just the 21st century’s answer to natural selection. The sooner they’re off the books, the better.”

More to come.

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