After three years of relentless bushfires, pandemics, nuclear warnings, major global conflicts and blow-out scores against the Broncos, today it has been confirmed that South East Queensland is fucking flooding again.

More than 1,430 homes are expected to flood as the Brisbane River rises as a result of a deadly weather event which has claimed multiple lives over the last 24 hours.

“This is a very extreme weather event,” Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk said, as floodwater rapidly approach 2011 levels

The weather system is moving south today and a large number of weather warnings have been issued right across the state, including evacuation warnings warnings.

More than 1,000 people were in more than 20 evacuation centres across the south-east of the state by this morning, and thousands more were poised to leave their homes.

The people of Queensland are once again grabbing their shovels and brooms and getting out there to help their neighbours sandbag, with the overwhelming consensus that this shit never fucking ends.

Both the NSW and QLD Premiers are now running round the clock press conferences, complete with sign language translators.

The PM has been unavailable due to the fact that this major disaster is taking place on a weekend.


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