Labor has allowed the Greens to get one away this week, after a new Industrial Relations bill has amended to include ‘the right to disconnect’.

This law has long been proposed by the Greens, in their effort to help destroy the cringeworthy and toxic ‘Grind’ culture that has arisen since the invent of smartphones.

No longer will be bosses be able to ping their employees on any devices, or reprimand them for not responding to any correspondence after work.

This proposal has been reluctantly accepted by Labor, who are trying to accrue enough support from the cross bench to pass their bill that protects the indentured tech slaves of the gig economy with a minimum wage and insurance.

In an effort to stop underpaid and underslept rideshare drivers and food delivery cyclists from being enslaved to cruel deadlines and dangerous conditions until they die on the roads, the government must also now protect anyone who has a boss with ADHD who won’t fuck up after 5pm.

On Wednesday the Greens announced the Albanese government had accepted ‘the right to disconnect’ which will prevent employees being punished for refusing to take unreasonable work calls or answer emails in their unpaid personal time.

Greens leader, Adam Bandt, says he’s willing to rewrite the definition of casual employment, if it means that “when you clock off, you’ll be able to switch off”.

“Unless you are getting paid for it … you should be able to ignore those calls and those messages that come in,” he told reporters in Canberra.

“We want to live in an Australia where employees are allowed to tell their bosses to go and get fucked after 5pm”

“There are no favours after knock off. You don’t even have to have your phone turned on. They get literally go and get fucked. This will not be law”

“If your boss is a heterosexual male, you will be allowed to tell him to go and suck a dick, because we all know that would be something he would rather not do”

“In the same way you would rather not get a text message at 8pm asking you to open up your laptop and spend an hour or so reading over some fucking report that he has clearly put through ChatGPT”


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