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A Betoota Heights man is in a fair state today, it can be confirmed. 

Battling harder than a boomer with a QR code, Brett Harley is currently just trying to get through the next few minutes, and then hopefully hours. 

The cause of the predicament is the effects of a somewhat unexpected blow out at a popular Betoota Tavern last night. 

Clinging to life with the thought of some sustenance down at his local chicken joint, Brett immediately strolled up to the drinks fridge before placing his order. 

“I can’t hold out any longer,” said the young hedonist, sighing and laughing at the same time as he pulled a delightfully cold Pepsi Max out of the fridge. 

“Going the Pepsi Max aye big fella?” asked one of his mates, bemused by the state of Brett. 

“Of course lol” huffed Brett, seemingly outraged at the suggestion he’d grab any other type of cola.

“Food tastes better with the good stuff, something to do with the stimulation of the taste buds caused by carbonation or something like that.” 

“Besides, I need it now, today of all days.” 

Pointlessly looking up at the menu as if he isn’t going to order the chicken roll special meal with a couple of tenders on the side, Brett was unable to hold out any longer. 

A sharp, crisp crack then emanated around the chicken shop, as Brett raised the dark elixir to his lips, letting out one of those heavy, full body sighs. 

“God damn that hits the spot,” he murmured, before nearly immediately taking another sip. 

“That’s bringing me back to life like a dip in the ocean.” 

“Yeah, just the chicken roll special meal deal and a couple of those chicken tenders thanks,” Brett then said, taking another step forward. 

More to come. 

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