ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contacts

A local city worker that now has to skip meals in order to pay the rent has wondered to himself on the way home this afternoon that all of this shit started because some idiot in Wuhan couldn’t cook his pangolin properly.

Darcy Douglas, 34, grosses about a grand a week, he says. From that grand, he takes home a few hundred less once the government has run their grubby hands through it. Whats left goes to his landlord, telephone provider, internet provider, utilities, cannabis, ketamine, alcohol, vegetables and rice.

The night duty manager at the Gelded Seahorse Hotel wanted to stress to The Advocate’s readers that he’s not complaining, he’s just trying to provide a vignette of what his life is like at the moment.

He joined our reporter on the 1:58am D45 trolleybus service this morning from the Old City to Betoota Heights.

“Everything is bad at the moment. I’m eating dinner four nights a week,” he said.

“Most things are too expensive. Albo just put the beer up again. Thanks for doing that, mate. I voted for him, you know. Next time, I’ll just get my name ticked off and throw the ballot paper in the bin. I’m never going to have a new car, or even one that I don’t have to worry about all the time. I’m never going to live in a place I can’t get booted from because my landlord’s tubby son needs somewhere to live. My parents rent and live off a pension, what hope do I have?”

“To think this latest round of regression in western civilisation happened because someone ate some undercooked pangolin.”

He looked out the window and laughed.

“Well actually, how far back do you want to do? I suppose things haven’t been good since the 9/11, have they? What was it like being 20 in the 90s? Having ten years without fearing nuclear annihilation at the hands of the Soviets before the Muslim boogymen were out to get us. I imagine it would’ve been sick.”

More to come.


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