LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
So, we’ve all had some time to deal with how we feel following the High Court’s decision to overturn George Pell’s guilty verdict, releasing him from prison and absolving his charges of sexual assault on a minor.
But how happy are you with the decision? Are you feeling as angry as a man who condemned Pell through a witty musical number or are you as overjoyed as a Murdoch chess piece who has sworn he is innocent with every minute of screentime he’s not hating on women and minorities?
Take the quiz to find out!
Fill in the blank: Paedophiles are ______
- Fucken Fucked
- Innocent until proven wealthy
How strongly do you agree with this statement: The Catholic Church offers protection for known pedophiles?
- Strongly Agree
- Strongly disagree – same protection is given to unknown pedophiles and rightly so because they’re innocent too OK
What role in society would you like to see George Pell take now he has been released?
- A fucking flood marker
- A testament of the old guard’s willingness to protect their own
- My latest win over the lefties at the ABC
How strong is your faith in the high court of Australia?
- Very low – they’re easily influenced by power
- Very high – they’re easily influenced by power
Now add your scores together! Take 0 points for every a) answer, 1 for every b) answer and two for every c) and see where you land on the scale below!
0 – 2 You are Tim Minchin
This will not come as a surprise to your friends who know you know your way around a piano and hate the miscarriages of justice the Catholic Church continues to support and influence. In fact, you may have already written a cheeky song or two about it! You think the High Court’s decision to release Pell is absolute horse shit and your brain is already tingling with the notes of a hit song about just how fucked pedophiles and the people who protect them are!
3-5 You’re your Dad’s Mate Vince
Vince used to be a sound guy so he has seen a lot mate. He once dated a girl who was 17 and finished high school and one who was 18 but still in high school but he hates fucking rock spiders mate. He bashed one at a gig once so you know it’s true. You think the High Court’s decision is a bit blue but glad the justice system isn’t crumbling to snowflakes. Because you know, you don’t listen to him that much but Alan Jones was on the radio this morning and he makes a good point….
6-8 You’re Andrew Bolt
If you scored between 6-8 reading this won’t be a shock and neither will the swift hand of justice as another honourable man with a history of sexual assault is set free. You might actually not hate yourself today. You think the High Court’s decision to release Pell is the most poetic form of justice since that coal-hating, Aboriginal-loving Malcolm Turnbull was ousted as leader of the Liberal Party.