As the election campaign heats up in the suburban outskirts, Scotty From Marketing is appearing at every ethnic community club he can crack a bait to, as well as constantly stoking religious culture wars over issues that affect maybe 4-5 people in the entire country.

In the outer-metropolitan parts of Sydney and Brisbane, there are two types of seats. Safe Labor seats, and mortgage-belt marginal seats.

While our country’s rapidly growing underclass are still well and truly locked in to vote for Labor’s medical subsidies and wage hike promises, the remnants of Howard’s Battlers are still undecided.

It’s for this reason that Scott Morrison is sacrificing his affluent blue ribbon seats to the teal Independents, opting to redirect campaign resources to communicating with the Quiet Australians through nonsensical outrage about political correctness and an imminent war with China.

However, in the suburbs that don’t make the property pull-outs, Labor veterans like South Brisbane’s Graham Perrett and Western Sydney’s Ed Husic just need to keep repeating four words to keep their jobs: ‘Medicare, Aged Care, Childcare’.

In fact these seats are so safe that their local members aren’t even bothering to roll the dice on having their words taken out of context by the NewsCorp newspapers – and are avoiding the media like a chesty cough on the express train.

However, the Chifley MP has today come forward and offered to debate his Liberal Party opponent, whoever the fuck that is.

Known locally as the ‘The Osniakbay’ – which is Western Sydney pig latin for The Bosniak, Ed Husic MP was the first Muslim sworn into Parliament House.

As the Shadow Minister for Industry and Innovation, it would appear that Husic’s job might get a bit busier under a Labor government committed to bringing back Australian manufacturing.

However, until then he’s just going to be handing out ‘how to vote’ cards at shopping centres for the next two weeks. Unless any of his Liberal opponents want that smoke.

Calling out the Liberal Party today, Husic said he is more than willing to debate whoever they put forward, at Blacktown Station, but it has to be untelevised, and after the rail guards knock off.

“Whoever wants it” he posted to Facebook today.

“No third man in. No blades. No cameras”

“If you wanna have an ogays, then I’ll make sure you get an ogays”



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