A ‘useless’ teenage apprentice has today been roused on once again at a Betoota Ponds construction site, after momentarily drifting off from the task at hand.

According to the some of the leathery old labourers, Bodie Mason (19) must play too many video games. Either that, or he’s smoking too much of that Riverina rollie.

Those are the only two possible explanations for why the kid was just publicly berated for vacantly staring across the worksite for 30 precious seconds that should have been spent digging holes.

Grown men from all different trades are currently getting stuck into Bodie, who, due to his general disdain for this worksite full of gambling addicts is never one to bite back.

“Off with the fairies today, mate? ha ha ha” asks Cal, a local tiler who delegates tasks to the 2nd-year carpentry apprentice every time he can get away with it.

“Jeez, these kids. I tell ya. Attention spans as long as their dicks hahahaha” says some hopeless alcoholic landscaper.

Bodie clocks every sledge, adding each to a growing list of mortal enemies whose utes will be discreetly vandalised at this year’s Christmas party.

However, it’s the bosses fuckwit son Hugo that makes number 1 at the top of the list.

“Jeez. How much am I paying you again? sniggers Hugo, the foreman, who never finished an apprenticeship, and drives a company owned Ford Ranger.

“Bloody useless. Kids have got no work ethic nowadays”

Little does Hugo know that Bodie’s frequent ‘day dreaming’ is actually just a young man envisioning himself physically incapacitating the 30-year-old fortunate son.

While king hits are the most regular violent fantasy, Bodie also enjoys picturing himself ‘accidentally’ dropping a hammer from a couple stories up.

The young fella knows deep down that violence is not the answer, and instead is looking for less confrontational ways to cope with the constant shit talk coming out of old mate’s mouth.

At time of press, Bodie was down at the shops for the arvo smoko run with Hugo’s daddy’s bank card.

He was last seen purchasing a kilo of Home Brand White Sugar and using his iPhone to google how to jimmy open the petrol tank of a 2019 Raptor.


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