CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Australia’s former Prime Minister, Grandpa Kev has had to once again intervene today, after being handed some sort of suss yuppy beer when trying to unwind while watching his beloved Broncos get pumped once again by another bottom eight Sydney club.
If the 24-42 loss to the Tigers wasn’t bad enough, Grandpa Kev’s afternoon was most definitely spoiled by the low carb Kumquat IPA he was handed by Scotty From Marketing.
“Look, I’m not one to criticise a man in his own house, but seriously Scotty… Ya can’t watch rugby league and drink this?” asked Grandpa Kev.
“Do ya have any real beer? What is this craft shit?”
This follows the news that Kevin Rudd has relocated from his home in Brisbane back to the secondary official residence of the Prime Minister of Australia, in an effort to help mentor Scott Morrison in his duties as the leader of Australia, and as a man.
Rudd’s decision to step out of retirement to return to unofficial duties as an Australian statesmen appears be one he was forced into in early June – after he was approached by senior business figures who begged him to take over the negotiations with multinational pharmaceutical suppliers in an effort to accelerate our nation’s bungled jab roll-out.
Mr Rudd reluctantly agreed to offer his help as a private citizen, and did in fact pick up the phone to the American-based executives who had grown of dealing with ‘junior bureaucrats” from Scott Morrison’s office.
After using his influence to get the Federal Health Minister Greg Hunt on the phone to the right people, Kevin Rudd has since moved back into Kirribilli House, where he is now playing the role of grandfather for a nation who’s flakey dad has skipped town after heading out to the shops to buy some smokes.
Today, it’s clear that that same flakey dad has only continued to disappoint with his rancid choice of craft beer – a sign that he most certainly does not enjoy a beer as much as he says he does – and obviously does not enjoy watching rugby league as much as he says he does.
“Christ this is worst than your disaster with the AZ jabs… Who the fuck would want to put this into their body?” giggled Grandpa Kev.
“Let me guess. One of your mates who went to Oxford insisted you buy this in bulk as well haha”
“You dopey prick. What’s Jenny drinking? I might as well jump on the Yellowtails too”