World News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT According to Scotty From Marketing's newest announcement aimed at drowning out the news that Christian Porter MP is paying his legal fees through a blind trust that has been topped up with millions of dollars by a faceless stranger who he has never met, Australia is getting eight cool new submarines! Yesterday it was announced that several cabinet...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Look out! There are some fighting words from across the ditch today! Following the news of a trilateral agreement between the UK, US, and Australia, our jealous neighbours who weren't included on the group call have hit out. The Prime Minister of New Zeland has revealed that Australian nuclear-powered submarines won't be allowed into Kiwi waters. "Let me be...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Betoota Dolphins 3rd Grade prop, Rick Chassis (37) has today laced up the ASICS and pounded them into the dirt track out the back of the Flight Path District golf course. After years of slowly adding layers to his dense husk, the local woodwork teacher has finally decided enough is enough, and is today starting his weight...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT MIXED MEDICAL ARTS: A local carnivore from Betoota's aspirational suburban wedge known as Betoota Heights has today gone quiet, for the next little while. 28-year-old construction manager, Jonno McAfferty says he's never really been opposed to any form of medicine, but due to the ten faithful years he has dedicated to listening to the Joe Rogan podcast -...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the final US evacuation flights leave Afghanistan, powerbrokers back home on US soil are already beginning to get to work. With the Taliban now given free rein to run their brutal regime without any cheques or balances, US arms dealers have begun enquiring about keeping the profits rolling. This comes as US President Joe Biden confirmed the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hip hop fans around the world are struggling to function at full capacity today, following the long-awaited release of Kanye West's tenth studio album. Kanye dropped the 27-track "Donda," at 10pm AEST last night, it comes more than a month after its original release date. In the lead up to this release, he has hosted three enormous listening parties...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Nicole Kidman is back on the screen in a new TV thriller about a bunch of delusional rich people with lots of baggage that they think will be fixed by immersing themselves in a high-end luxury lifestyle in a picturesque town with no poor people. Based on a book written by the same Australian author that wrote that...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT As the Taliban continue to consolidate their control over the major cities of Afghanistan, the president of their now collapsed US-backed government has left his supporters hanging at the gates of the airport - while he 'pulled a scomo'. 'Pulling a scomo' is a popular expression within the Australian vernacular, and is used to describe the actions of...

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | Contact The Prime Minister has shrugged off suggestion that he does everything last minute and/or when there's substantial public pressure, telling The Advocate this morning that everything he does has been in the pipeline at some point. Scott Morrison then went onto suggest that if the media thinks they could do a better job running the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The major cities and towns of Queensland have just enough freedom for their Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk to get away with flying to Japan this week, as the rest of Australia remains imprisoned under strict lockdowns. If this little overseas jaunt took place a month ago, Anna would be public enemy one right now. That said, Queenslanders as a whole are...