The Plan To Help Generation Y Buy A Home In Sydney
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
SYDNEY NEEDS TO BE less desirable and more dangerous according to a new political party hell bent on helping young Sydneysiders buy a house in the harbour city.
Following a city planning model similar to Brazil's Rio De Janeiro, The FairGo Party plans to destabilise Sydney to the point where people will actively feel afraid,...
Dan Murphy’s To Remove Crown Lager From Their Premium Beer Section
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
National liquor retailer Dan Murphy’s today announced that it will remove Crown Larger from its Premium Beer Section.
The company’s CEO, Chris Stewart, said that the move came after countless people had attempted to return Crown Larger six packs which they had been thoughtlessly gifted over the Christmas period.
"For a long time we’ve been...
Melbourne To Trial Sydney-style Cafe Lockouts After Gangland Murder Near Cafe
16 March, 2016. 17:04
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
IN RESPONSE TO THE LATEST senseless killing in Melbourne's caffeine district, the Victorian government is set to introduce sweeping new measures to keep the public safe - similar to Sydney's controversial lockout laws.
The body of Joe Acquaro, 55, was discovered on a footpath near a popular cafe, on the corner of...
Government Proposes New Alcohol Plain Packaging Laws To Limit Smart Arse Behaviour
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THE ATTORNEY-GENERAL'S office has drafted alcohol plain packaging legislation which is due to go before parliament in the coming weeks.
Samples of the new branding were released by the Attorney-General Senator George Brandis QC this morning during a press conference in Canberra.
The proposed warning labels will be similar in design to the existing cigarette packets labels...
Turnbull Challenges Climate Scientists To Guess Which Briefcase Has Funding In It
15 March, 2016. 15:15
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Fears that some of Australia's most important climate research institutions will be gutted under a Turnbull government have been realised with deep job cuts for the scientists that have been working to save life on Earth.
It is estimated as many as 110 positions in the CSIRO's Oceans and Atmosphere division will go,...
Clive Palmer’s aides have lost him inside IKEA
15 March, 2016. 13:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THE LOGAN IKEA SUPERSTORE is in lockdown after federal politician Clive Palmer wandered off from his minders, sparking a desperate search by workers and his own staff.
Police and emergency crews have arrived and ushered shoppers out while they began cordoning off the area.
Palmer's staff are concerned he may encounter a member while...
ABC To Keep Flogging Weird British Programs Until Mandatory 8 Week Holiday Wraps Up
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Australian Broadcasting Corporation has today announced that they do not care how many people actually watch their Sunday night line up of British soap operas - they will continue to broadcast "Call The Midwife" and "Doc Martin" out of respect to a small faction of viewers who claim to be intelligent enough to...
Report: 70% Of Canberra Residents Think “The Bush Capital” Is In Reference To Marijuana
13 March, 2016. 18:35
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A new report by the Australian National University has indicated that 70% of ACT residents were under the impression that the nickname "The Bush Capital" was in reference to the high-quality standard of homegrown marijuana that is present throughout the territory.
"I mean, it's not a lie that Canberra has some of the best...
Somebody cut off Neil Perry’s iconic ponytail and now he wants it back
11 March, 2016. 11:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
WOMEN WERE LEFT SCREAMING as masked bandits fled the chaotic scene today at one of Sydney's most illustrious watering holes after they cut off chef Neil Perry's beloved ponytail.
It's unclear at the moment what the motive is for the sickening attack, but early indications are that PETA may be responsible. Either...
Uber Driver’s Pyramid Scheme Pitch Most Exciting Thing About Night Out In Sydney
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
After a night out in the Harbour city, Bridgette McClymont (20) says the most interesting and exciting part of the evening was her Uber driver home.
"He was very interesting. He used to work in real estate but now he's semi-retired because he's discovered this cool new multi-layered marketing business" says Bridgette, who finished dinner at...
