The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Oh for fucks sake!" he sighed. "I've only just got dry. Hey! Hey!! You!" But they didn't hear local lifeguard Matt Laulsen, they were too keen to try out their new Christmas present down at the Lake Betoota Surfing Complex. That entitled old boomer fuck that Matt was yelling out to this afternoon was Ian Craig,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact As the the sore heads try to pretend they aren't sore, the extended family makes their way back to the living area that hosted yesterday's family Christmas. It is not lost on the kids that the older family members are moving a bit slower, but no one is moving as slow as you. That's because you got overexcited and did...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the 16th time in as many years, this year's Christmas gifts haven't even gotten close to the excitement that came with the holographic bright green front cover of the 2003 Guinness Book Of World Records. While mum nearly got close a few years ago with a gift voucher for the Australian Geographic store in the local Westfield,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A former sporting great turned sports-betting great has today proven to the the younger members of his extended family that he has indeed still got it. Despite his very visible, and clearly audible, lack of fitness - Corey (33) has been letting that chin music play all morning. From the worrying amount of puffing he has been doing after...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent study by the Australian Farmers Federation, in partnership with both the CSIRO and Australian Bureau Of Statistics has found that cherries can never make you feel like you are full. It has been confirmed that the average human will not even notice that they eaten over one hundred, maybe more, cherries on Christmas Day. While there are...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by mum, dad and the uncles and aunties has found that it's just an hour out of your day. Short of the blackmail tactics of yesteryear that saw people literally being threatened with ultimatum of missing out on presents if they couldn't get out of bed in time for the 9pm service, the guilt-trip appears...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter young professional revealed this morning that her boyfriend of seven years still finds it funny to greet her by putting his weak, pencil-pushing hand on the small of her back while he whispers "G'day Mate" in her ear at the same time. In addition to that, Lisa Pearson said the first thing...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Christmas Eve drinks at 34 Benson Street in Betoota Heights is beginning to deteriorate and old scabs are starting to be picked. But before that, Peta Dearmoth's uncle Darryl ask her and the other cousins around her to excuse his French before he launched into his latest tirade. This is time, the object of his...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "Oh, okay. So what do I do now?" asks 76-year-old Robert Kelic. His 12-year-old grandson excitedly runs him through the ropes of his newest social media account. "You press this button and take either a photo or a video" says Jordon. "Then you decide who to send it to" Pop, who doesn't have any friends his own age who own a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Short of running out the front door and throwing himself under the D45 bus to the French Quarter, there's no real escape for one local man who is currently trapped in a conversation with an errant family member. Douglas Pearson, of Betoota Heights, spoke candidly to The Advocate just a short moment ago over his...