The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local 'Wellness Advocate' has today let us in on a big secret. The F-tier influencer from Betoota’s countercultural hinterland town of Linenwunsie has outlined the path you need to tread to become someone who can spread and advocate 'wellness.' Unable to describe what the fuck 'wellness' actually really means, Hyacinth Tulip (formally known as Hyacinth Thomas) explained...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Doctors hate her!!! Gold Coast woman Moniqueelaigh Shannessy has today woken up from a one-night-stand armed with more experimental and clinical knowledge of modern medicine than every health expert on the planet. The 20-year-old Instagram model says ever since making tender love with a 130-game NRL journeyman last night, she has become acutely aware of how all of the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Skype, Zoom and Facetime are too much of a commitment... and text messages and DMs are easily lost in the other screen time activities of swiping and scrolling. But the phone call, it's a proper convo, where two people are giving their undivided attention to one another. That's what Malabar man, Frankie Allday (27), has rediscovered during the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local carpenter who has just polished off 1 litre of Monster Energy drink, a 2-month-old curried steak pie with tomatoes sauce, 150 gram Mars Bar, three Winfield cigarettes, a battered cheese kransky and 500 millitres of iced coffee in that exact order has today voiced his skepticism of the medical consensus surrounding immunisations. "I'm not getting it...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the death toll from Australia's 2021 outbreak continues to grow, 'Freedom' advocates appear to be slightly changing their messaging from 'I hate doctors' to 'I hate the division that these doctors are causing in my community'. The middle class wellness warriors of Instagram say that they are so heartbroken to see all of the kindling they've piled...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of Betoota's most noisy medical skeptics has today ditched her campaign to discredit the health experts working tirelessly to get us out of this pandemic. For the last 12 months, French Quarter resident Shalayla Mortimer (29) has relished in the power that comes from undermining proven science. It all started with a couple of links that were shared...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Chivalry has risen from the ashes like a phoenix as Betoota Heights dad Nick Strong (51) has promised to help his wife Diane with tonight’s dinner. Noticing his wife cooked dinner for their family of six roughly 330 days of the year, and had just had a stressful day at work, Nick decided to bless his wife with...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the best wishes of radio broadcaster Alan Jones, The Queensland government has today vowed that they are gonna have to fucken build this dedicated quarantine facility in Toowoomba themselves. Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has officially pulled the trigger on the Wellcamp proposal, meeting with the Wagner family today to get the ball rolling on this job that the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The current situation in our nation's second strangest state is now at the point where their leader, Dan Andrews, is now telling the denizens of the cold country that he's drinking from the bottom shelf. "Tonight is a Black Booster night," Premier Dan Andrews told media today in Melbourne, the third coldest place in Australia...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE AN OPINION: The NSW coast has been hammered by wild surf conditions over the last two days, as powerful winds whip out of the same weather system that dumped snow in the mountains this week. Lifeguards from Wollongong to Coffs Harbour did their best to direct swimmers away from the beaches, but unfortunately their...