Sports

Josh Papalii Urged To Not Report Himself For Any More Crimes Until After Origin

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Canberra Raiders hitman Josh Papalii has been awarded his seventh Queensland jersey, after being named to start in the State of Origin series opener next week - as the Maroons look to keep the momentum that has surrounded them for the last decade - with or without Thurston and Slater. While Papalli's selection would seem fitting given his...

Amy Schumer Confirmed As Lead Star In All-Female Remake Of ‘Saving Private Ryan’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Amy Schumer has today confirmed that she will be joining Sarah Silverman, Rebel Wilson, Melissa Mcartney and several other caucasian female stand-up comedians as the lead star in an upcoming Hollywood all-female Spielberg remake. Last month, Paul Feig, director of “Bridesmaids” and co-creator of “Freaks and Geeks” (along with Judd Apatow), took to Twitter to confirm perhaps the biggest...

Local Prop Who Forgot School Pick-Up Twice This Week Says New NRL High Shot Rules Are Bullshit

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the effect of concussions and head injuries has been a topical area for contact sports over the last few years, club rugby league legend Bill Watson (36) has come out today and cleared things up, stating that anyone who goes off the field with a head knock is “soft". “What do they call them now, “concussions?”  Mate,...

Cocaine Worried The NRL Is Starting To Hurt Its Image

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Purveyors and traffickers of the glamorous party drug cocaine say they are beginning to worry that the stimulant - often used as a psychoactive drug to alter one's mental state in a way that modifies emotions, perceptions, and feelings for recreational purposes - may be getting a bad name from its association with the NRL. It is believed that...

Walters Claims Every Single QLD Player Might Not Recover From Injury In Time For Origin

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a pre-Origin tradition started by Wayne Bennett in the early 2000's, QLD coach Kevin Walters has fronted the media today to tell the Opposition Team not to worry because every single decent Queensland player might be injured. The Maroons coach says he is tossing up over potential replacements for Cameron Munster as 'doubts arise' ahead of the decider tomorrow. Walters...

Adelaide Man Considers Flying North For NRL Indigenous Round To Get In Some Extra Booing

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Adelaide man, Christopher Freesettler (28) isn't a fan of rugby league, but that doesn't mean he isn't willing to watch a match. Particularly if that match involves cocky Aboriginal players. He says he can't believe that the upcoming NRL Indigenous Round hasn't been more heavily marketed towards the South Australian audiences. "It would have been a great way to get...

Indoor Soccer Game Marred By Disgraceful Act Of Good Sportsmanship

PAUL MORELLO | VIC | CONTACT Organisers at Essendon Bat and Ball were stunned after last night’s Division 4 Indoor Soccer match between FC Ukoff and Raging Ra-Bonerz. In their previous outing four weeks earlier, a “late challenge” from Ukoff’s captain, Con Pappas, left Ra-Bonerz striker Tim Evans with a compound fracture in his leg, so the rematch threatened to be...

Sharks Chairman To Sign With Toulon

Cronulla Sharks CEO Lyall Gorman has confirmed Chairman Damian Keogh stepped down from his role as chairman in what he labelled a "very challenging, very disappointing day" for the sport - which can be loosely translated as: "One of the men who sacks 21 year old footballers for doing coke was doing coke" Mr Keogh is believably in talks with French...

Bondi Foot Locker Completely Sold Out Of Adidas Footwear Ahead Of A-League Grand Final

FRANK LAZARIDIS | Wogball | CONTACT The multinational footwear giant, Foot Locker, has experienced an unprecedented level of demand for the classic three striped suede footwear - with the one of Sydney's flagship stores having emptied their entire store room of the classic blue box. "I saw a young man try and buy a pair of Dragons off a strangers feet for $200 cash...

Shane Watson signs on as French cricket coach

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The French Cricket Board announced this morning that former Australian Test great Shane Watson has signed on to coach the national side. Known for his flair and penchant for playing across his pads while simultaneously walking across his wicket, the chairman of the FCB said Watson was a 'perfect fit' for the side. "Shane Watson is...

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