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A man who isn’t Lance Armstrong apparently won the 104th Tour De France bicycle race over the weekend, it has been confirmed.

Majority of the world, who only really learnt about the cycling race when someone won it seven times in a row, were unaware of the fact that the Tour De France was still a thing.

“What?” said one Betoota local named Frank.

“I haven’t heard about that bloody thing since Lance Armstrong got stripped of seven jerseys and I threw out my Livestrong armband”

“I thought it got canceled”

The remaining cycling fans around the world can also confirm that the race isn’t as good anymore without the level of competitiveness that creates sociopathic drug cheats with much faster times than anyone of the allegedly clean competitors still racing.

As one of cycling’s Grand Tours. The 3,540 km (2,200 mi)-long race commenced with an individual time trial in Düsseldorf, Germany on 1 July, and concluded with the Champs-Élysées stage in Paris on 23 July. A total of 198 riders from 22 teams entered the 21-stage race, which was won by a guy called Chris, his fourth overall victory. Another guy called Rigoberto and another called Romain finished second and third, respectively.

 

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