Sports

Elijah Wood Blamed For Embarrassing Attempts Of Hooliganism Among A-League Fans

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the fact that no one else in his family supports Melbourne Victory, and the fact that he is almost two decades older than the club, 33-year-old A-League hooligan, Ziggy Presbotka (33) says he is unashamedly 'Victory till I Die'. He says the couple hours he takes off from life as a run-of-the-mill middle-management suburban office...

Embattled Collingwood WAGS Reportedly Telling People Their Partners Are Tradies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the Collingwood Football Club continued their coach-killing season on Tuesday, quiz show host and President, Eddie McGuire called for solidarity among supporters, but for some WAGS, it’s becoming more and more difficult to stand “side by side” with their partners. Wishing to remain anonymous, “Narelle”, the girlfriend of a current Magpies defender, told SEN1116 of the shame...

POLL: How Fucked Up Would AFL Fans Get At A Bush Rugby League Match

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the news that police are investigating the latest racial abuse scandal to hit the AFL with the hunt on to identify a man at Saturday’s Western Bulldogs vs Brisbane clash, rugby league fans of all colours around the country are puzzled as to how they are able to keep pulling this shit. The most recent Asian-themed...

NRL moment of silence lasts record 9 seconds before ‘Dogggiees’ chant

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Top NRL officials have today lauded fans at the Bulldogs v Wests Tigers ANZAC Day clash after a record breaking 9 second moment of silence. Initially meant to be a 'minute's silence' - the NRL has in recent years repackaged the commemoration tradition into a non-specific 'moment of silence' - so as to not keep...

Die Hard Blues Fan At Work Begins First Phase Of State Of Origin Optimism

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Local blues die-hard Josh Sullivan has already begun explaining to coworkers why New South Wales is a real shot of winning State of Origin this year. Work colleague Ash Barton said that Sullivan, 29, usually starts to murmur about Origin around this time of year, before reaching fever pitch the week before Game One. “I feel so bad...

Modern Family’s Eric Stonestreet signs on to play Bill Pulver in Nine’s planned miniseries of Super Rugby debacle

18 April, 2017. 17:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Nine Network is in talks with Australian Rugby Union  to bring the latest Super Rugby disaster to the small screen, with Hollywood television heavyweight Eric Stonestreet agreeing to portray besieged boss Bill Pulver. Due to make its TV debut mid-way through next year as the ongoing saga between SANZAAR, the ARU, Melbourne...

Inside the ARU’s controversial plan to segregate change rooms between public and privately educated players

16 April, 2017. 17:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Commentators feel Australian Rugby Union has been gripped by a feeling of nostalgia, for when the nation was a relative powerhouse, as they announced earlier this week that they were planning to reintroduce a number of controversial policies from yesteryear in an effort to rebuild the code's reputation. "One issue we've had is...

Broncos Praised For Refusing To Acknowledge Good Friday’s Weird No Schooner Laws

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The religion of rugby league appears to have finally overtaken Christianity in the River City this week, ahead of the Brisbane Broncos local derby against the Gold Coast Titans on Good Friday. The Brisbane NRL franchise has refused to acknowledge the archaic judeo-christian-inspired Australian laws that prevent schooners on the first day of the Easter Long Weekend. Local...

Privately-Educated-Upper-Middle-Class Man Unable To Identify Problem With Australian Rugby

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Commodore of the Betoota Sailing Club has revealed to friends this afternoon that he's not sure what's wrong with Australian rugby union, but it might have something to do with the 'grassroots' level. From the gunnel of his jibing 34ft ketch, Vred Lesbisk, Commodore Walter Crowlow explained how he felt there was something awry with the game...

Local Footballer Has Been Doing It All Day, According To Drunken Man In Crowd

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Despite being only 15 minutes into a local footy game, a drunken punter is letting the referee know that that oppositions number 2 has been a non-stop pest, and will continue to be unless his poor discipline is recognised. “Fuck me dead sir, he has been doing it allllll dayyyyyyyyyy!” he yells from the sidelines. Local games between the...

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