Sports

Nation Collectively Laughs At Eddie McGuire — Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia has exhaled in relief as Collingwood personality Eddie McGuire goes home once disappointed from the MCG today after his Pies went down to the Queenslanders in the VFL grand final. After the exhale, the nation collectively laugh at the colourful television personality. Earlier in the week, the McGuire asked all Victorians to get behind Collingwood...

Collingwood Runner Alex Woodward Wins Norm Smith Medal

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The internet has been broken after Collingwood runner Alex Woodward won the Norm Smith Medel for best on field at the AFL Grand Final at the MCG. West Coast took the lead after halftime due to a brilliant play by the 25-year-old and went on to win the contest. More to come.

Man Watching First VFL Game This Year Shouts “Ball!” At Pub Television Intermittently

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Camelia Grove Hotel in the French Quarter is heaving with young men shouting "Ball!" at the television playing the VFL Grand Final every 4 to 6 minutes. "Ball!" said one weak-chinned Victorian ex-pat. Two of his mates nodded. "Ball," they said in unison - but softer. Another young professional ordering pint of imported Melbourne Bitter at the...

Sydney Roosters Accountant Wins Dally M Bookkeeper Of The Year Award For 8th Season Running

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT While some of the NRL’s award winners from last night are sporting sore heads this morning, that isn’t the case for the Sydney Roosters accountant. In typical accounting fashion, Nick Robinson is back at his desk this morning working diligently away on the bits and bobs that make his club so successful. The 52-year-old father of 2 thumped his...

National Parks And Wildlife Officially Declare Billy Slater A Protected Species

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT National Parks have today granted rugby league great and Melbourne Storm fullback Billy Slater protection under the Biodiversity Conservation Act (2016). The announcement comes after the NRL cleared the champion fullback to play in this weekend's premiership decider. The NRL’s decision came after a mammoth judiciary hearing whereby Slater’s legal counsel Cameron Smith pleaded the case for a couple...

Melbourne Storm Fan Praying Christian Slater Is Cleared To Play In NRL Grand Final

A local Brunswick man is praying to whichever deity he holds dear this week that his beloved Melbourne Storm are granted mercy. This comes after news broke this weekend that the team’s star fullback may be rubbed out of the big dance due to suspension. 34-year-old Axel Banwagen spoke to The Advocate this morning about facing the possibility that Christian Slater...

Waratahs Supporter Completes Annual Late September Transition To Roosters Supporter

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The oldest rivalry in rugby league history will have punters glued to their seats and screens this Saturday night in the NRL's preliminary final between the South Sydney Rabbitohs and the Eastern Suburbs RLFC, more commonly known as The Sydney Roosters. The venue hosting the showdown, Allianz will see it's last ever football match, before being farewelled and...

NRL Integrity Unit Bunch Of Snitches

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The organisation charged with the responsibility of monitoring the off-field behaviour of NRL players is actually just a big bunch of narcs, it has been confirmed. This comes as jaded and drunk rugby league reporters do their best to undermine both clubs, players and any on-field momentum with shit talk about what these guys get up when they aren't...

Rugby Australia Assure Fans Everything Is Fine And They’re Just In A Rebuilding Phase

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Rugby's governing body has urged fans not to panic after Saturday's historic loss to Argentina, telling those concern that they're simply in a 'rebuilding phase' and the team will go back to winning soon. Rugby Australia CEO Raelene Castle spoke to the media this morning in Sydney, where she outlined that coach Michael Cheika will...

Mount Buller Overcome With Celebrations As Melbourne Demons Continue Their Finals Dash

The richest 1% Of Victoria finally have something to celebrate today, after their beloved Melbourne Football Club lives to see another match in this year’s AFL finals. The Demons are into the make-or-break week of the AFL finals for the first time since 2000 after dismissing Hawthorn in the first semi-final at the MCG last night. ”I’m absolutely ecstatic about the...

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