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The organisation charged with the responsibility of monitoring the off-field behaviour of NRL players is actually just a big bunch of narcs, it has been confirmed.

This comes as jaded and drunk rugby league reporters do their best to undermine both clubs, players and any on-field momentum with shit talk about what these guys get up when they aren’t playing footy.

While fans say it doesn’t really surprise them that a bunch of heavily tattooed kids who grew up in rough as shit towns and suburbs are prone to getting into trouble, and have a much different idea to what is and isn’t appropriate when compared to wine-swilling rugby league reporters – the NRL insists it is their duty to make sure they make their beds with hospital corners.

“What a bunch of nerds” says one Rabbitohs supporter, Harry Sardware.

“It’s almost like they are just being told what to do by journos”

“What kind of organisation hires people to tattle on their best employees?” says another Bulldogs supporter, Shona Lomu.

“We didn’t hear anything about the Daily Telegraph end of financial year party, but no doubt they were getting up to the same shit. And one thing that’s for sure is that Newscorp doesn’t have an integrity unit”

 

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