Local News

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A bloke that doesn't know the purpose of the quaffle in a game of Quidditch is proving to be pretty useless tonight as he struggles to offer any answers at a Harry Potter themed trivia night. Duncan Dursley (30) would be the first bloke to admit that he’s not classically book smart, as the only two books...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA local bachelor has flaunted his best attempt at an NBA tunnel fit tonight as he heads to a servo to buy some dinner.The Advocate can report Brandon Landale (26) from Betoota Heights was spotted entering the Ampol roadhouse on Ingles street at 6pm this evening, on the hunt for a Gatorade and whatever hot, salty...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact There is a keen political observer from Betoota Ponds who also happens to love shopping. And it is this love that has seen the Ponds-based man breathe a sigh of relief after learning that the US passed a deal to suspend their debt ceiling just days before the country ran out of money. Huey Lewis (31) told the Advocate that...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA local dad has proved to his family he is feeling a bit sentimental today by loading up the family chat with about 262 childhood photos. An early adopter of technology as far as boomers go, Betoota dad Morgan Glenton has recently gotten into scanning old photos, a hobby which is now resembling a fulltime job for the father...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTWith the Bris Vegas 2032 Olympics within a decade's reach, the brown snake has begun stockpiling gold clubs ahead of a controversial event they will hopefully add to the Olympics. Usually, an Olympic host country is allowed to add a few sports they will excel in which has led to Brisbane considering adding rugby league and gender reveal burnouts. However,...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn a scenario similar to giving car keys and a credit card to a 10-year-old and asking them to pop up to the shops to get ingredients for the dinner they will make, the Australian voting public is being trusted with a historic referendum. While it’s surely not the Maboian strike to the colony Albo thinks it is, the...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe workplace ombudsman and family court have both been called in this week as a local ‘work wife’ has filed for a ‘work divorce’ after finding out some weirdo she works with is calling her his ‘work wife’.  A favourite joke amongst people who aren’t funny, work wife or work husband are professionally affectionate terms for coworkers who work...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn a recent report by smarttraveller.com.au Australians staying in hotels are advised it is best not to think about what all the other tens of thousands of hotel guests have done with the detachable hotel showerhead. Before AirBnb, people used to stay in hotels, which are like AirBnbs but without ruining coastal Australia and always having someone on-hand who...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTLocal uni student Sarah Paulson (20) is stumbling drunkenly into adulthood this week after entering the stage in her tertiary education where she thinks it’s time for her to host a dinner party. Despite all evidence pointing to the contrary, university is often viewed as a time for young people to learn and grow up, developing important skills they...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA French Quarter woman last night copped a few glares at Betoota's finest Italian restaurant, La Cibo, for being unable to stop herself from giving into her natural instincts, it's reported. Tilly Wallace is alleged to have been on edge for the first part of the evening due to her boyfriend refusing to allow her to bust a...