Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Ponds man has today uncovered yet another perk of being a dog owner - the indescribable feeling of picking up a steaming hot turd on a frosty morning! It's alleged James Parker went for a walk at approximately 5:30 am as part of his new commitment to becoming a 'morning person', which he's so far approached...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The diplomatic fallout between Russia and Australia has escalated significantly today, with senior Russian figures making a huge announcement. Responding to the Australian government's move to block their embassy, Russia has revealed that it will be withdrawing all Smirnoff products from Australian bottle shops and pubs. The huge move comes after Prime Minister Anthony Albanese announced that the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA French Quarter man has this week had his friends questioning if he’s a psychopath, after they discovered some of the things he likes to do ‘for fun.’ Anthony Kinselas is alleged to have really gotten really into his activities in the past couple of years, and though he was always somewhat ‘outdoorsy’, he’s since taken it to...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke in dire need of an ADHD assessment has been shocked to discover that it’s not only a pretty convoluted process, but ridiculously expensive, it’s reported. Ian Marsden tells The Advocate that he’d first considered he might be of the jittery leg persuasion when he tried dexies at a house party last year, only to discover that...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTGoing on a holiday may just be the best way to reduce your carbon footprint as long as you ignore the whole 'air travel' thing.All along idyllic tourism hotspots, innovative eco hotels are paving the way for a future where travellers at least feel like they’re making a difference when buying an $8 bottle of water and reusing...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Betoota's French Quarter has this week been subject to a dramatic intervention. The cause for consternation comes after friends and family of Bridget Wilson realised that the young professional doesn't own a single pair of white sneakers. Yep, you are reading that right. Not a single pair of Veges, or Adidas, or Pumas. Nothing. The shocking revelation came...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT As one of the Diamantina’s most in demand cosmetic surgeons, Dr Tom Tucks gets the satisfaction of seeing his best work out in public on the streets of Betoota everyday. A graduate from the West Queensland Advanced College of Cosmetic Medicine, Dr Tom has been nipping and tucking many of the new money types in town for...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThe notion of people in their late twenties retiring to bed by 9pm isn’t necessarily true, as more people are simply evolving their excessive drinking habits to involve an activity, it’s reported. Though local woman Lorrie Dresden no longer has the stamina to get shitfaced every weekend, which may also be partly due to the fact that at the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactStaring at his computer screen as a single tear rolls down his cheek and into his partly opened mouth, local man Anthony Edmondson- Charleston lets out a soft, little whimper. He didn't mean to find it, but after watching hundreds of hours of Belle Delphine and cat girl ASMR clips on Youtube, Anthony has found himself recommended a...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who heavily relies on Reddit to help form opinions on very specific topics has been thwarted today, after a quick Google search found all of her answers blocked by the Reddit blackout. Jen Armas is said to have googled a relationship question by adding the word ‘Reddit’ at the end, when she was met with a...