‘Sorry Don’t Have Any Info, Just Go On The Pill’ Says Doctor To Every Woman With A Gynaecological Issue
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has learnt the hard way that there’s really not a lot of research when it comes to gynaecological care, after forking out a few hundred to see a gynaecologist about her PCOS symptoms.
Having already heard horror stories about women trying to receive care for their endometriosis, Zooey Devens really didn’t have high expectations for...
‘Doing It For The Plot!’ Says Woman Planning To Make The Worst Decision Humanly Possible
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights woman has this week adopted the phrase 'doing it for the plot', as a way to get away with making incredibly poor decisions that usually involve rooting someone she shouldn't, it's reported.
Similar to 'it'll make a good story', doing it for the plot has become a popular saying amongst Gen Z, but that hasn't stopped...
Lawyer That’s No Good At Keeping His Clients Out Of Prison Peruses The EOFY Offers At Hush Puppies
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A French Quarter lawyer that has a very competitive hourly rate but is ultimately not very good at shielding his clients from the wrath of the Crimes Act has spent the afternoon perusing the End of Financial Year bargains at Hush Puppies.
The American shoe manufacturer is famous for making footwear for people with...
“If You Know You Know” Posts Local Girl Who Googled Best Cupcakes In New York To Get In The Know
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
In global news, one of Betoota’s most worldly fashion designers has hit the streets of New York this morning to show people back home what a cupcake looks like in America.On a work trip to “The Big Apple”, Phoebe Steph-Andrews (34) is believed to be on a two week jaunt to the States after lining up...
Riverbank Where Everyone Loses their Virginity Under Threat After Council Unveil A Damn “Community Beach”
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTHidden amongst the swaying river red gums that line the Diamantina River, “The Bend” is a popular spot which holds great significance for many local Betootians.Located only 3 minutes from the outskirts of town, “The Bend” has long been regarded as a safe space for teens who have recently acquired their P-plates and is usually the...
How To Survive Without Outdoor Cinemas This Winter
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA treasured national pastime, outdoor cinemas are all the fun of watching a movie you’ve already seen combined with additional scenery and all the uncertainty of the natural world. Without a doubt, the hardest part of Australian winters are having to wave a sad, seasonal goodbye to our glorious outdoor cinemas.But it doesn’t have to be hard! Here...
Glorious: Local Man Treats Himself To A Chippy’s Cocktail After Big Afternoon Of DIY
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local king is atop his castle, it can be confirmed today.
The Betoota Heights monarch named Jarred Dickson is currently leaning back on his throne (no, a chair on his patio not the toilet) after a big arvo of DIY.
The owner of the 4 bedroom, triple garage project home on the edge of the Heights told The Advocate...
Advice Column | Reduce Your Divorce Expenses Through These Easy Utter-Bastard Behaviours
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTDivorce is a complex event where the rights of men and women depend mostly on the circumstances in question. Circumstances that can be very expensive if you’re not careful.Litigation, arbitration, dispute resolution and more. These things can add up to tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars. Then there’s the immeasurable emotional costs...
Mum Enters 30th Year In Her War Against Tattoos
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA Betoota mum has marked a conflict milestone today as she enters the 30th year in her war against tattoos.
Mother of four Miriam McKeever (54) claims she doesn’t like tattoos which is why she hasn’t gotten any and nobody else should either.
“They just look nasty,” stated McKeever who was rocking a pretty legit Karen fringe until her daughter...
Grown Man Has Dream Where He Meets His Footy Heroes
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA lucky little boy had a fortune visit from the sandman last night, having the most marvellous dream where he met his footy heroes before waking up and going to work.The news about construction worker Broden Milton’s (38) most amazing dream reached our reporting team when Milton’s co workers stated they were sick of hearing about their colleagues...
