Colourful Hippy Puts Speaker On Bike Because Current Attention Was Insufficient
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe Betoota French Quarter somehow got even more up its own ass today as a local enjoyer of cycling and bright colours added a speaker to her bike as the current level of attention she received was insufficient. The colourful character in question is Betoota born Annafirth ‘Crescent Moon’ Whaimsley (44) the owner of the channel country's most decorated...
“I Don’t Think An Inheritance Tax Will Fix Much” Says Harmless Bloke With Rich Parents
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A wavy-haired softcock from our town's leafiest enclave has told The Advocate today that an inheritance tax wouldn't do much towards increasing the Treasury's bottom line moving forward.
The country is facing significant challenges according to the sixth Intergenerational Report (IGR), which was released yesterday by Federal Treasurer Jim Chalmers. It flagged an increase in...
English Second Language Students Taught To Self Deprecate After Receiving Compliment
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAustralian language classes are getting our newest residences off to a good start by correctly teaching students to self deprecate after receiving a compliment.English is one of the most widely spoken second languages in the world, in what was a genius move by continental Europeans to make sure they could always complain about the English without them knowing.However,...
Horror As Local Bloke Tells FB That Council Has Tried To Destroy Him Personally Every Day For 45 Years Now
RORY SALAZAR | Property | ContactBetoota’s most terrifying community FB page has just outdone itself, it has been confirmed.
The FB group, known as the ‘Hardcore Heights’, has thousands of members based predominantly out of the suburban hellhole that is Betoota Heights.
The page is notorious for being the ultimate toxic abyss of bullying, harassment and despair, where users leave their humanity at the door...
Half Of Audience A Jazz Concert Dragged There
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTHalf of an audience at a local jazz concert formed a strong bond last night and not just for being an increasingly rare member of the Australian public who frequent live music venues in 2023.During a contemporary jazz concert at Betoota jazz/comedy bar, Who Jazzed In My Trumpet, half of the audience shared a knowing look, silently acknowledging...
Tourist Town Lolly Shop Thrives On Guilting Weekenders Into Buying $9 Bags of Choc Freckles
IKEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTIn news south of the border, an adorable lolly shop in the Southern Highlands of NSW has once again raked it in this weekend after rinsing tourists for some stale chocolates.Nestled between a handmade candle store and a luxury ugg boot maker, Cobblers Chocolate Co. is a beautifully presented shop which has been selling sweet treats...
Bloke Who Underestimated Grade 4 Bush Walk Gets Nervous After Seeing Backpackers Go Past With Trekking Poles
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTAs a white suburban male who once played representative sports in high school, Euan Spankins (32) is blessed with the kind of arrogance that means he thinks he’s above reading hiking maps.
But today, The Advocate can report Euan has been forced to reflect on his dwindling physical health, as he struggles to partake in a weekend...
“Top 10 Classic Sydney Pubs” Writes Inner-city Journo Whose Criteria Includes Quality Of Burrata And Imported Wine List
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTIn breaking news from one of the country’s most read metropolitan mastheads, potato wedges are out and polenta fries are in when it comes to the criteria for what makes a good pub.
The revelation comes as the SMH Good Food Guide put forward a list of the top watering holes in the Harbour Cesspit, a list...
Freelancer Using Pub As Personal Office Sticks To Two Schooners In The First Hour And One Every Hour After That
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA local freeloader is believed to be pushing his luck today as he sets up his laptop in the bistro of a Betoota pub.
Damian Burns (32) is a self-described digital nomad, a bloke who writes for several food review publications including ‘Drink & Dine Diamantina’, our region’s premier foodie blog.
Given that he doesn’t have an office...
Take Away Joint In Industrial Precinct Serves Rare Hi-Vis Delicacy That Matches Patron’s Workwear
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA fish and chip shop located in Betoota’s industrial precinct has narrowly beaten a $6 banh mi vietnamese bakery as the most popular takeaway joint for tradies, its reported.
‘Jimmies Chop Shop’, which is known to offer everything from burgers, pies, parmis and random thai curries, is beloved amongst locals for both the large portion sizes and for cooking...
