Woman Marrying Sri Lankan Bloke Not Sure She Can Pull Off 23-Letter Wedding Hashtag
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Betoota Hills resident, Samantha Keary has read every single Australian bridal magazine that has been printed in the last 18 months.
As a self-confessed bridezilla, she knows two things. One, her dress is costing more than the venue - and two, she needs a hashtag.
'Wedding Hashtags' are a relatively new phenomenon in modern Australian marriage ceremonies. While many...
Local 16-Year-Old Confident Parents Don’t Know What Watered Down Vodka Tastes Like
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A popular student at the exclusive The South Betoota Academy for Girls briefly spoke to The Advocate this morning about how she's been getting away with stealing vodka and other spirits from her parents for weeks.
Emma, who asked to remain anonymous, said she replaces the vodka she takes with water and the brown spirits...
Bloke Didn’t Realise $20 Haircut Would Require Him To Become A Psychologist
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local man, Glenn Vo (27) says the next time he plays the role of a life counsellor, he'll make sure he doesn't have to pay to do so.
While on his lunch break from Betoota's lead Fish & Camping retailer, Glenn took his wife's advice and went for a quick short back and sides at the Daroo Street...
Scientists Confirm Loudmouth 18-Year-Old On First Night Out Actually Is Bulletproof
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A cocky young bloke who's been walking around the pub like he's bulletproof, actually is bulletproof, it has been confirmed by nearby scientists who just happened to be drinking in the same place.
The Lord Kidman Hotel's local crowd in South Betoota just sit and watch on, as the near-invincible young fella keeps carrying on like a galah.
After...
Pet Casts Judgemental Stare At Owner During Kick-Ons
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
One thing led to another last Saturday night, forcing a group of South Betoota youths to head back to a Cordillo Road sharehouse with a big bag of cans and a burning desire to get legless.
Stacey Porterhouse put his hand up to host the kick-ons after a short discussion among the group outside the...
Kids Toys On Floor Adds Plot Twist To One-Night-Stand
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
What one local man thought was a flawless pick-up has drastically turned into something far more complex and layered, it has been confirmed.
While hopping into his jeans this morning, Lewis Cranney (23) noticed something he hadn't picked up on last night. Kids toys sprawled across the living room floor.
The radical change in the expected...
Study: Best Part About Being A Drama Teacher Is Bragging About Who You Studied With At NIDA
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After a big day teaching improv to the stockbrokers, barristers and Liberal politicians of tomorrow, Mr Jensen throws on The Whitlams and puts away a couple bottles of red.
Despite a relatively healthy pay packet to be working in the field he loves, he knows the 'art' of theatre is lost on the boys of Saint Magnums College in...
Local Meth Cook Says He Won’t Let The Robots Take His Job Without A Fight
26 May, 2017. 15:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A prominent East Betoota meth cook has lashed out at lesser media outlets for scaring the population by saying robots and automation will take their jobs in the coming years.
Bradley Dennis Kinkman explained to The Advocate this afternoon that online blogs such as The Courier-Mail and The Northern Times are 'sensationalising a non-issue...
Man revvs the guts out of his XR8 to celebrate axing of Yassmin Abdel-Magied
24 May, 2017. 15:23
JUAN GENERO| Motorsport | Contact
A throaty chorus of eight cylinder motors rang out across West Betoota this morning as news of controversial Sudanese-Australian media personality Yassmin Abdel-Magied having her ABC television show cancelled filtered through town.
A month after attracting criticism for a tasteless ANZAC Day social media post, the ABC announced earlier this week that Australia Wide, a...
Man’s own war against Islam began today with racial tirade on public transport
24 May, 2017. 15:23
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Retiree Peter Jenkins didn't ask for any of the attention he's currently receiving now, but he couldn't sit idly by and watch his community decay any longer.
The 71-year-old former prison guard, still fresh from an afternoon sherry at the Betoota Dolphins Leagues Club, decided to do the right thing and get the...
