Headlines

29 December, 2015. 11:25 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE WINDIES SECRET WEAPON has been revealed. Bermudan superstar Dwayne Leverock has arrived in the harbour city ahead of the third and final Test showdown against Australia in the New Year. The ICC has made a special consideration in letting the man from the tiny island nation join the West Indian team because...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT TROMSØ, NORWAY (AAP) - The wife of a prominent religious figure has been airlifted to hospital from the remote region of Lapland, within the Scandinavian Arctic Circle.  It is reported that the patient, known for her international philanthropy, was struck down by severe stomach cramps and is confirmed to be emotionally exhausted. The patient has been identified as Mrs...

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT Australian test player and Sydney Thunder opener Usman Khawaja's 97 at the WACA today has landed him in good stead as the only remaining specialist batsman for Australia in Perth this summer, as well as immortalising him on the honourable list of "Muslims that don't to be referred to as Muslims" - a true sign of his sporting prowess and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT LOCAL FATHER-OF-THREE, Chris Richards has had to make the painstaking decision to drop his most timid son, Andrew (14), from the family's backyard side, ahead of the arrival of the in-laws tomorrow afternoon. "I didn't want it to be this way - but as captain, coach and selector - it's my duty to make sure we have the best side...

20 December, 2015 17:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the wake of a blatant Government-approved character assassination, Delilah "Stoner Sloth" Carpenter (17) says she will now have to find new ways to hide and suppress her deep-seeded fears of abandonment and social anxieties. "I guess one of the main reasons I smoked weed was because it made me feel better about the fact that my...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Toby Lockyer has found himself in the least desirable seat at this particular staff party. While enjoying an open bar at a local surf club, the entire office at J.B Media Buying have been forced to adhere to designated seats within the venue, in order to help cultivate their famously "social work environment". Mr Lockyer got seated next to...

18 December, 2015 10:35 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Australian is reporting that infamous people smuggler Han Solo has been arrested on the cloud planet, Bespin. Han Solo has reached a level of notoriety since the early 1970's through his work as a criminal human trafficker hampering government efforts to turn the tide of illegal refugees for several years. Mr. Solo first made headlines...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, 28-year-old Dave Sampson has involuntarily informed his entire office of his preferences when it comes to adult films. After running late to work, Mr Sampson was doing his very best to remain under the radar this morning - but very quickly became the centre of attention in his twenty-person office after turning on his laptop. Mr Sampson says...

15 December, 2015 10:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The man who made headlines earlier this year for the infamously lavish wedding that “put Auburn on the map” has been secretly trying to broker a deal that would render him as one of most powerful figures in Australian sports - and not everyone is happy about it. The Advocate has been forwarded email correspondence that...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Homeless Brisbane man, Jai Torima says his state of helpless destitute is about get a whole lot worse, even though Pauline Hanson insisted twenty years ago that she was going to look after him well before anyone else. With a range of mental health conditions and a complete lack of occupational readiness, Mr Torima realises that an influx of Syrian...