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Local Man Says Cancerous Processed Meats Better Bring It

27 October, 2015. 11:35 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Simon Noble, a "rather stocky" 29-year-old from South Betoota says the recent findings by the World Health Organization makes him nervous. But it doesn't scare him. In news that has rocked the developed world, The W.H.O announced on Monday that bacon, sausage and other processed meats cause cancer and that red meat probably does, too. The...

House White Gets The Nod After Diner Spends 20 Minutes Staring At Wine List

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A NEW FARM WOMAN spent close to half an hour inspecting a wine list before selecting the cheapest option. Friends of the 28-year-old advertising client relation's manager assistant say she had no real reason to pretend she cared, or was even interested, in what she was ordering. "It was just... yeah it was pretty frustrating," said one source. "The restaurant...

Nonna Making Wild Accusations That You No Love Her No More

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact People of Italian and Maltese origin are becoming increasingly aware of the fact that Nonna doesn't give a fuck if you ate earlier, it has been confirmed. Tony Canterella, a 32-year-old Italian-Australian plumber from Newcastle, has spoken to The Betoota Advocate today about the confronting scenes that took place in his paternal grandmother's living-room yesterday evening -...

The Betoota Advocate In Talks With Netflix Over New TV Show

23 October, 2015. 16:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact With the success of Betoota's Weekly Wireless News Update, our humble Outback newspaper has been headhunted by the multi-national film and television streaming service, Netflix. BELOW:This week's news Podcast from The Betoota Advocate It is believed executives from Netflix have spent the last two weeks attempting to make contact with the Betoota Advocate's editors after...

Content writer vaguely recalls time when he was a journalist

23 October, 2015. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A FORMER AWARD WINNING journalist has spoken of a time, before he took a job writing mindless sponsored content for News.com.au, when he was free to pitch stories to his bosses. They'd often be shot down, either for not adhering to the company line or for just being too expensive to do....

Peter Dutton: “I Will Not Be Blackmailed By Human Decency”

  22 October, 2015. 16:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Immigration Minister Peter Dutton stated on Radio National this morning that he would not be “blackmailed by human decency,"  Mr Dutton was responding to the claims of self harm and detiorating mental health of children in Nauru, made by 4Corners last night. While addressing the Opposition in question time, the Minister conceded that “Referring to this people as...

Uh-Oh Spaghettio! Local Man Realises Pokie Machines Took His Entire Paycheck!

22 October, 2015. 11:20 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Hidden cameras from inside the gaming arcade in Western Sydney's Fairfield RSL have captured hilarious scenes this week - and it's sure to make your sides split! Local blue collar worker, Toolio Runamackus, was recorded having somewhat of a mental breakdown after realising he had just gambled his entire paycheck through several of the venues pokie...

6 Of The Sexiest Photos Of Chad Kroeger To Remind You Why He’s Worth $60 Million

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Love him or hate him, Chad Kroeger is one of the most talented musicians of our time. His capabilities as a guitarist, vocalist and all round entertainer have been praised by the highest orders of rock music royalty. "Kroeger and Nickelback were exactly what Rock 'n' Roll needed after the death of grunge." - Sting, 2010 "Every time I...

Extensive Criminal Record The Only Thing Stopping Taxi Driver From Joining Uber

9 January, 2016. 11:20 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact After working forty years as a registered Brisbane cab driver, Thomas Ivanovic says he is "bloody offended" that he was unfairly denied an Uber licence purely because of his criminal record. "Everyone's been banging on about this Uber shit. They reckon you get paid more and it's better hours... I thought I'd jump ship,"...

“Booing Brand Ambassadors Is A Normal Part Of Retail Marketing”

20 October, 2015. 12:50 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact David Jones has been forced to defend its decision to feature former Sydney Swans player Adam Goodes as a brand ambassador. This comes as Australian social media users made the retail chain aware of the offense that had been caused by choosing such a controversial sporting identity. The retired AFL player and former Australian of...

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