Headlines

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact In what began with an innocent photo presentation of a catch up with some old school mates, Andrew Pine has had mentally call in a ‘code red’ to regain possession of his phone and prevent his mother from continuing to swipe beyond what she’s allowed to see. As panic set in, Andrew made a split second decision that would...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Friends of Jordan Polos (30) were reminded today of how much growing up their mate has to do, as the thirty-year-old junior management consultant used the term “Pash” in conversation. “She was grinding heaps close so I turned her around and just full started pashing her ay!” Originating from the word ‘passionate,’ pash is a term used to describe a...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Upon visiting the Melbourne suburb of Fitzroy, retired swimming coach Glen McNamee (70) reckons young people need to harden up and that most of the local street art is “crude and unnecessary.” “All the cafes 'round here have signs saying they’re safe spaces and LGBTQIACDC bloody friendly and I’ve had enough of it! Focus on the real issues like...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact During a glorious backyard session, junior accountant Lincoln Moore, decided to twist his stubbie open beneath the table so that his mates couldn’t see he was opening it through his shirt. After scrounging around for a tea towel in the kitchen, Moore was forced to abandon his plans as other drinkers came in and tried asking...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Leader of the opposition, Bill Shorten has today unveiled a bold new campaign strategy, aimed at winning over youth voters heading into the next election which could be at any moment. Despite not offering much of a point of difference when it comes to housing affordability, environmentalism, NBN or other things that concern a vast majority of people...

LEROY PERCIVAL | Central-Coast Queensland Folk-Rock Editor | CONTACT A much-anticipated house party was completely ruined recently, as it’s host made the crucial mistake of not stashing his acoustic guitar away before his friend Joel arrived. In what was gearing up to being a killer party, things took a turn for the worse when the house’s sole tenant, Steve, heard his guitar being tuned by ear in the living room. “I was...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Maverick National Party MP George Christensen has had his hopes dashed within split seconds of throwing his hat into the ring as a possible National Party leader and Deputy Prime Minister. This comes less than an hour after Barnaby Joyce has announced his will stand down from the roles as of Monday. Mr Joyce had faced sustained pressure to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Deputy Prime Minister has today said he will be pulling out, as of Monday. After 6 months of chaos, including a scare with sun spots and a citizenship scandal, and a pregnant mistress. Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has today confirmed that he will now have a crack at pulling out. While many argue he could have pulled out...

As the girls pile into a taxi taking them from a swanky bar near their office to another establishment, where they intend to keep smashing rosé, Jacinta Shorebreak interrupts the fit of giggles with a serious question. “Ok. What did we think of Adam?” “He’s so cute!! The way he sat near you and always asked if you needed a drink....

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Police commands from the suburban outskirts in an array of Australian cities have today warned locals of the dangers associated with with a stitched little yacht icon on a golfing hat. It is believed that any sightings of this particular accessory should be taken very seriously, as it is closely linked to getting your phone racked or having...