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Criminally Oversized Quiff Makes Haunting Return In Resurfaced Year 10 Formal Photos

TRACEY BENDINGER | Nostalgia | CONTACT While social media has had a positive impact on the lives of billions of people, one local Betoota Cove girl is today wishing the digital sphere didn’t exist. Jackie Archdale (27) has had an unfortunate photo album of her year 10 formal resurface thanks to the Facebook memories feature.   Jackie is now questioning how she managed to...

Ziggy The Bagman Secretly A Millionaire, Says Brisbane

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The iconic Brisbane swagman known as Zbigniew Marian Wilczek Alba or 'Ziggy the bagman' is actually a millionaire, and chooses to be homeless for fun - that's according to the people of Brisbane. The Polish migrant, who has gradually moved between streetside settlements in the inner-city suburb of Toowong for many years now, is allegedly worth millions - and everyone knows...

Sydney Media Finally Gets Hold Of A Yarn They’ve Been Spinning In Tamworth For 3 Months

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 3-month-old Tamworth pub yarn involving Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce's whirlwind return to young fatherhood has finally made it to Sydney media outlets today, leading the rest of the nation to wonder how fucking stressed the big bloke must have been over the last six months. The Daily Telegraph, and equally as untrustworthy print newspapers have today revealed...

Barnaby Takes The Arvo Off To Spend Waitangi Day With Some Shearers Out Near Yass

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Barnaby Joyce, the Member for New England has reportedly taken a day out of his busy schedule to celebrate his ancestry today. Sources close to the Leader of The Nationals have informed the Advocate, that although he renounced his Kiwi citizenship late last year in order to be re-elected to parliament Joyce will still be...

Report: Jatz Only Cracker Strong Enough To Scrape Off Corner Of Brie Cheese

A year-long study into the Australian cracker market by top scientists has concluded Jatz are superior in every way, shape and form. “Anyone buying anything else is kidding themselves,” Professor Hans Van der Klay, lead researcher said. “Those ridiculous water crackers are over-priced, over-rated and over-abundant on supermarket shelves”. As well as possessing enough melt-in-your-mouth saltiness to be eaten alone, researchers found...

Brisbane’s Vacant Inner City Apartments To Be Repurposed For Urban Farming

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following recent reports that suggest building thousands and thousands of new high-rises in response to a slowing property market might not be a very good idea, drastic action is being taking to make use of Brisbane's oversupply of luxury inner-city apartments. With more than 8000 inner-city apartments under construction and due for completion in the next two years, the...

Big Unit In IT Treats Himself To Some Extra Electrolytes

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact At 6’10 and 180kg it’s hard to miss Daniel Tran (35) as he walks down Betoota’s famous promenade nursing a Blue Bolt Gatorade despite the fact he did no sport today and not much of any competitive team activity of any kind in the past 10 years. While onlookers are usually in awe of Tran...

29-Year-Old At Laneway Knows Very Well She Can’t Pull Off Sundays Of This Size Anymore

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The first music festival of 2018 has technically taken place right around the country this month, as a prominent Australian music festival makes it's way Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane and Fremantle. Halfway through the St Jerome's Laneway Festival tour, one Sydney-based middle-Gen-Y live music enthusiast has had to face a stark reality that she has been trying to push...

Bouncer Takes A Month To Figure Out People Born In The Year 2000 Are Turning 18 In 2018

Dylan Webb has to deal with a fair bit of shit. The apprentice chef and semi-professional rugby player has to navigate his way through some unpleasant situations during his stints as a bouncer at a local Betootan Pub on the weekends. However, much to his relief, one aspect of his job has been made slightly easier this year. The talented athlete brought...

Instagram Model Makes Bold Transition From Softcore Pornography To Photos Of Her Kid

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact Super-hot Instagram model, Gracie Heart, gave birth to her first child 7 months ago and, as the proud mother she is, she was desperate to show every single one of her 500k Instagram followers just how beautiful her little slice of heaven is. There’s only one problem though, her core fanbase of teenage boys and tradies aren't...

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