Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The non-stop fireworks and flaming cannons at Melbourne Storm home games has led to an investigation possible salary cap breaches within the well-financed rugby league franchise. That comes after it was revealed that the club has sixteen full-time pyrotechnicians on the payroll. "We, umm, we love the excitement" said NRL CEO Todd Greenberg. "But if they are seriously paying that many...

Tiffany Wickham (19) comes from a long line of proud Australians. With knee high boots, nose piercing, half head undercut and lengthy regiment field coat, Tiffany Wickham dressed to steal the show and make her grandad Keith the toast of the regiment at the Betoota Hills ANZAC Day dawn service this morning. As the dawn rose on another Anzac Day, there...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local aspiring actor/singer/ dancer/playwright is never not carrying on like a goose, it has been confirmed. While 25-year-old Emily Browther is actually great company, the fact that she is unable to ever stop singing or dancing or making weird faces means that her better qualities are quite often lost on her immediate friends and housemates. Mundane tasks like cooking...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A combination of elite North Sydney private schools have today come out and apologise for the hand they have played in producing some of the biggest offenders in the current inquiry into banks and financial services firms. It marks the second Royal Commission that rattles the core of the Liberal Party due to it's direct links to some of the most...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the CSIRO has found that the 'fly' episode of Breaking Bad is a waste of 45 minutes, and almost puts a dampener on the entire award-winning TV series. Despite the fact that hipsters and screen buffs try and say episode 10 from the third season of Breaking Bad is actually quite arty and poignant,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As thousands of fans gather in central Stockholm to mourn international EDM icon Avicii, who was found dead in Oman yesterday, local mid-tier Australian DJs and producers have been quick to point at that they were big enough at one point to actually be in the same room as him. The passing of the world-renowned superstar of dance...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Usually, the high point of a corporate drone’s daily grind, lunchtime at B&E Finance left a sour taste in the mouth of HR Rep and office foodie Hilary Melton (32) who was privately disappointed no one asked about her curry that she warmed in the office microwave. Known for generating interest amongst her co-workers during the hours of 12...

In a scene from a horror movie, hands and arms have been reaching out of the ground today. However, rather than some supernatural graveyard miraculously coming to life, the dead bodies have been breaking out of the surface in anger at what has come to light in the Royal Commission. This comes as The Royal Commission into Misconduct in the Banking,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Baby Boomer Cheryl Clermont (62) says the idea of legalising cannabis sounds a bit too much like a fun time for the kids, and therefore she is naturally opposed to it. "We just don't know the effects that this drug I haven't used since the seventies could have on young people" she said. "It's like gay marriage. We can't...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Leader of the Opposition, Bill Shorten, has today proven that despite a 30-year-career of political bureaucracy and media training, he is in fact just like the rest of us. After wrapping up a press conference / heavily documented conversation with local workers, the Labor Party leader decided to do what it is that all working class humans that...