Politics

17 May, 2016. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AFTER BEING SUCKERED INTO watching ABC's Q&A in his own home by his left-leaning family, 69-year-old Micheal Houston said he couldn't help saying "Fuck me, dead," over and over again. Having spent his entire working life as a small business owner, the semi-retired farmer says that he used to have a small...

14 May, 2016. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE BEHIND IN NEARLY every poll, Opposition leader Bill Shorten has been cooler than a cucumber  this election campaign, which he chalks up to one simple trick. "I scream into a pillow three times a day," reveals the 49-year-old, who celebrated his birthday on Thursday. "The goose feather ones work the best. I...

11 May, 2016 15:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Often described as "Australia's Drive-By" - the ram-raid is a variation of burglary in which a vehicle is driven through the windows or doors of a closed shop, usually a department store or jewellers shop, to allow the perpetrators to loot it. The ram-raid is a universal method of robbery, however, over the last twenty years it...

12 May, 2016. 17:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact SELF-CONFESSED TAX PAYER and welfare recipient Duncan Storrar shot to fame earlier this week after going into bat for Aussie battlers on ABC's Q&A. This morning, he's famous for another reason. Alongside this morning's revelations surrounding Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull's involvement, the 45-year-old father of two was once a director of an offshore company...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE AUSTRALIAN ELECTORAL COMMISSION has ruled that a penis drawn anywhere on a ballot paper this election is automatically counted as a vote for The Greens. In a landmark decision, AEC Federal Coordinator Faye Splushman said that the male genital best represents The Greens and what they stand for. "Each year, there are so many dicks," she...

8 May, 2016 10:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has today visited the Governor-General Peter Cosgrove to ask for a double-dissolution election. He then launched the nation’s longest election campaign since the 1960s, culminating with a July 2 poll. With the current Government's pre-election promises currently under the spotlight, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull says the path is clear for the "greatest years...

29 April, 2016. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AS THE CLASSIC JOKE would allude to, how do you know if somebody is a member of Royal Sydney Golf Club? They'll tell you. Now a 69-year-old disabled transgender Jewish Aboriginal woman can tell everybody who'll listen that she's become the first of her background to become a part of the exclusive organisation. Baayami Noccabrara...

28 April, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact MALCOLM TURNBULL SPENT THIS morning sitting back in his chair, tossing a Turf King as close to the ceiling as possible. He does this every time Scott Morrison and Peter Dutton fuck up. More and more red scuff marks have appeared on the roof of his Canberra office recently, which is indicative of the...

19 April, 2016. 15:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In what appears to be one last snub of his nose to Australian quarantine laws, new footage has today revealed that Johnny Depp wasn't actually that sincere during his official apology to Australia yesterday afternoon. A photo, tweeted by the actor, at 11:30pm last night - shows his right hand performing a...

14 April, 2016. 15:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NOW THAT MALCOLM TURNBULL HAS left the country, Barnaby Joyce and his friends from The Nationals have the keys to the kingdom - and they've thrown the biggest party at The Lodge since John Howard's infamous 17-day bender after Australia won the 1999 Cricket World Cup. Early this morning, a Tooheys Brewery...