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WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT If you thought we'd moved past panic buying as a society, then you might want to look away now. Just as the country had beaten the worst of the Coronavirus Crisis, the nation's Supermarkets have been forced to take a step backwards and introduce some new buying limits today. The new limits will apply to condoms, or frangers...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Grahame Wood has finally broken through today. After 5 weeks of being unable to share personal and business anecdotes from his incredible life experience, he has finally managed to enter the online class being held by Betoota University. The 52-year-old accountant come Juris Doctor, or law student as the 'layman' might know it, said it's been a really...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Always an effortlessly arrogant middle finger to the rest of Australia, Sydney has once again decided quarantine rules are not for them as many of the city's bars have seen an increase in patronage. Once a party spot as red hot as the nostrils of the crims and corrupt coppers that ruled the streets, Sydney bade farewell to their...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Fans of the epic British crime series Peaky Blinders are reveling in a new episode of their favourite show dropping every week. Peaky Blinders is arguably the greatest product of the British gangster genre of all time. Set in Birmingham in the year after the end of the First World War, The series centres on the Peaky...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A 15-year-od local basketball fan is today looking for a new place to live. This comes after the Betoota Heights teenager was told by the old man he 'better fucken find somewhere else to self-isolate,' after a heated and unsolvable sporting debate. High school student Tom Vidas explained that his decision to enrage his Lithuanian born basketball mad...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the nation reels from the fallout of Virgin entering Voluntary Administration, plenty have been left asking what things will look like when all this is over. If the airline were allowed to completely fold there are grave concerns for the monopoly Qantas would hold. As a result, people have been pleading with the government to step in...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Morrison has today begun exploring new ways to keep tabs on his renegade Nationals backbencher Barnaby Joyce MP, after the Member For New England outright refused to take part in digital COVID-19 tracking measures. The twice former Deputy Prime Minister is today leading the charge of federal politicians refusing to download a mobile phone app to trace...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the country under lock-down due to Coronavirus social distancing measures, the underachieving salarymen responsible for the democratic erosion of the Liberal Party have today met in a secret location to discuss the greatest threat to Australia as we know it. And by greatest threat to Australia, they mean the greatest threat to their $300k+ public service salaries. Home Affairs...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact If there is one thing 2020 has taught us, it’s that everything can change in a second. Stevin McMillan, a once revered managing director of a local marketing firm, is today finding out this the hard way after running late for a video call and having to conduct the meeting in his active wear.   A sweaty and dishevelled Stevin...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hundreds of thousands of Australian followers of Eastern Orthodox traditions have today had to enjoy the quietest Eastern celebrations since WWII. Right across Europe, and in Australian suburbs located under the commercial flight paths, Orthodox churches base their Easter celebrations on the Julian calendar, which often differs from the Gregorian calendar that is used by many western countries. Like most religious traditions...