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High Court Decision To Overturn Pell Conviction Not Likely To Be Recognised In Ballarat

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's highest profile institutional child rape conviction has today been overturned, following a high court ruling that has result in Cardinal George Pell walking free from prison. The court earlier today unanimously found Pell's conviction for child sex abuse should be overturned and he should immediately be released from prison.In a statement, Cardinal Pell said a serious injustice had...

Australian Public Accepts Pell’s Innocence And Urges Him To Head Back To Italy ASAP

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the fall out from the decision by the High Court to throw out the decision of the jury in the Pell case continues today, the nation has this afternoon urged George Pell to take some 'essential travel.' With the former Cardinal walking free from Barwon prison this morning after having his conviction quashed by some rich old...

Tony Abbott Wondering If ‘Picking A Mate Up From Prison’ Counts As Essential Travel

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Former PM turned Indigenous rights activist turned unemployed boomer Tony Abbott has received some news today that put a big ol' smile on his reptilian face. Even if it did upset the rest of the nation. But has history shows, it's usually things that upset the rest of the nation that makes Tony Abbott feel joy. While the news that...

“We Need Victims To Speak Up” Says Legal System That Just Dismissed An Entire Jury’s Decision

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some genuinely shocking news this morning, George Pell is set to be released from Barwon Prison, after a bunch of rich old white lawyers dismissed the jury's finding that the former Cardinal was guilty. In a giant middle finger to the nation’s sexual assault victims, who are subjected to a horrendous amount of trauma and distress (including...

Disgraceful Crowds At The Park Shamed In Online Photos Taken By Woman Who Is Also At The Park

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Social distancing measures continue to ramp up across Australia in the wake of the COVID-19 Pandemic. As of 6:00am today, there have been 5,744 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Australia. This number is up 109 new cases since 6:00am yesterday. Of the 5,744 confirmed cases in Australia, 36 have died from COVID-19. More than 299,000 tests have been conducted across...

Bloke Using Jerrycan Without A Funnel Really Backs Himself

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from Diamantina Link Road, it can be confirmed today that Phil Walters has supreme confidence in his ability. The vet whose been happy enough to avoid heading into town for the last couple of days with a raft of livestock-related trips keeping him occupied found himself in a potential pickle a short time ago....

Nation’s Brawlers Switch To Power Ranger Fighting To Maintain 1.5m Distance

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT As Australian society adapts to the new reality of COVID-19 measures, even drunken boofheads that enjoy punching on outside bars are adjusting their behaviour to minimise the risk of infection. Supermarkets, Centrelink, parks and streets are emerging as the new venues for these impromptu showdowns, being the only things not closed. “That fuckwit over there had the audacity to accidentally...

Bored Hospo Worker Checks His Super Balance For A Bit Of A Laugh After Everything

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In pursuit of a bit of light entertainment amidst these uncertain times, Damon Thompson has decided to treat himself to a little bit of laugh this morning. Kicking off another day of optimistically applying for jobs while waiting for the Job Seeker payment to kick in, Damon decided he'd have a bit of a giggle and see if...

Bloke At Servo Counter Breathes Sigh Of Relief As Sickly Man In Face Mask Pulls Out A Knife

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT While Australians young and old whinge about not going to the pub for a few weeks, those on the frontline continue to risk their health in an effort to keep essential services running. One such worker, servo clerk Neil tells The Advocate that he thought he'd experienced such a risk when a run-in with a stranger left him scared for...

Australians Begin Panic Buying Rita Hayworth Posters As States Bring In New Lockdown Measures

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Over three states have this week announced strict new draconian measures to prevent the further spread of COVID-19. People in NSW are living under Australia's toughest coronavirus lockdown and face fines of up to $11,000 if they break the rules that prevent Australians from going outside unless it is for work, groceries or medicine. The State Government has warned...

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