IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australians have been reminded today that despite all of us being in this collectively bad situation, we're in it together. They have also been reminded that when the pandemic sunk its claws into the economy's neck in Marck last year, it resulted in a sharp crash that saw tens of billions wiped off the local...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite a number of examples of Sydneysiders doing the wrong thing, NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has said there's no need to cut the city off from the rest of the planet because Sydneysiders can be trusted to do the right thing. Speaking ahead of the clockwork 11am press conference, the Premier spoke briefly to this...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact State media in our nation's prosperous West are reporting that Dear Leader Mark McMaoan has punched a deadly coronavirus to death during a fight to the death on the WA's southern land border. The fight, which was detailed by People's Republic of Western Australia Vice Chairman for Propaganda Kerry Stokes in the rogue state's...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister said his last press conference didn't go so well so he's going to tap out for a few days until there's something positive for him to talk about. Scott Morrison ended his latest meeting with the media by saying he can't understand why people like Dan Andrews and Gladys Berejiklian feel compelled...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Our nation's prosperous West has been cut off again and the hermit kingdom's defacto leader, Mark McMaoan, has ordered his land militia once again to shoot down all unauthorised air traffic. In addition to those orders, Mr McMaoan's private army has also been given the green light to engage vehicles and people attempting to cross...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man said his wife has all of a sudden started to refer to him has her "hubby" - something he says began after his better half came back from the hairdressers with a two-tone bob. In addition to being called "hubby", 59-year-old Deverel Slacks says his wife Magda has also used other...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A man from a sea-breeze-swept suburb in Sydney has confided in his 279 followers on social media this morning over fears he might be a bit of a weirdo due to his love of being locked down. Spencer Lawson, a happy-go-lucky son of some cunt, who works in a bank in the city doing something...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The whole of Victoria is back in lockdown which means places like Mildura, where there hasn't been a case in over a year and is any Melbourne person's idea of literal hell, are also told to stay home for their own safety. Thousands of small businesses in the area are now closed but don't worry,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Federal Government has announced new middle class welfare payments to people who don't really need them in the grand scheme of things. If you are currently locked down in Sydney or Melbourne, you might be eligible to receive a payment to help you pay for things like food delivery and golf balls. But if...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The residents of Melbourne are not amused today as the Victorian Government looks to announce a snap lockdown tonight. A lockdown is required, said one VicHealth spokesperson, to get a handle on the current outbreak in the nation's most European city that originated in Sydney and spread there via an infected removalist. However, the New South...