JUST COMING OFF THE M1: Prime Minister Albanese has been reportedly dogged quite severely overnight, after inviting one of the older boys to his carefully curated house party.

In reports out of Washington DC, it seems that President Joe Biden has cancelled a visit to Australia, the second leg of his upcoming Asia trip.

Biden’s visit was expected to be only the second from a sitting US in modern history. However, the 80-year-old is beleived to have dogged the boys at the last minute, despite sending Air Force 2 and close to a hundred security personell to case the place before his arrival.

However, not one for disappointing, it seems Biden made the cruel decision to let Albanese down lightly – by stringing him along until the last minute.

Albanese’s dreams of curating second-term-cementing images of the Australian Prime Minister and American President passing a sherrin football to one another on the lawns of Kirribilli House were sadly not to be, he remained hopeful to the very end.

Texting the US President late last night, Albanese was seeking clarification of a visit that was never going to happen.

“Hey Bides. Secret service all sorted for accommodation. Ready to kick off here. You still coming?”

Biden, at a loss of how to let down the young fella, decided not.

“Yeah leaving mine now” responded Biden, texting from the deep end of a bubble bath in the Oval Office ensuite.

Albanese responded lightening fast, with “Ohhh shit. Haha. The boys are back in town. Hhaha nah just kidding should be a good one. You bringing your missus or just riding soloooo (jason De-rulooo Lmao). Im so pumped should be a good one haha”

President Joe Biden did not respond personally, instead asking his Chief Of Staff to break the bad news this morning.

His excuse for flaking on Albo is not yet confirmed. Although, one of the boys was saying that he needed to stay home to deal with the slow-motion crisis building in Washington over the US debt ceiling, or some shit.

Instead, Biden is to attend a three-day summit of G7 leaders that starts on Friday in the much cooler Japan, and will return to the US on Sunday.


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