In good news for nervous Australians, it can be confirmed today that the impending recession shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

This comes after the nation’s Treasurer Josh Frydenberg told The Advocate that everything’s going to be okay.

“We have a bold and exciting new policy that should protect the nation from any of the negative effects of a sharp global downturn,” said Frydenberg.

“The policy, believe it or not, is effectively to offer up no policies to combat the global market slide, worsening economy and ready to burst housing bubble, but just cosy up with Trump and the US and hope it all works out.”

“So to anyone living just above the bread line, or hoping to live off their superannuation in a couple of years, don’t worry, our policy of just hoping the recession goes away will look after you.”

Frydenberg then explained that if the policy doesn’t, in fact, work out, and the effects of a global recession hit home across the country, then you know who to blame.

“Labor. Obviously.”

“We are trying to avoid a recession, but if it does in fact take hold, well it was obviously unavoidable because of Labor’s fiscal recklessness when they were last in office.”


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