ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A corporate tax professional at the PwC Betoota offices is one of the forgotten victims of the ongoing tax scandal that saw the global number-crunching outfit embroiled in a tax leak scandal where confidential government documents were marketed to their multinational clients.

These multinationals used the confidential information to avoid paying the correct amount of tax.

This scandal has brought great shame upon PwC, which once enjoyed a favorable reputation. That reputation is now in tatters, which has left one plain local man questioning himself and those around him.

Walking at a networking event on Friday night, a popular activity for the city’s corporate drones, Colin Colon took his lanyard off from around his neck and discreetly shoved it into his pocket.

“It’s embarrassing, people look at your lanyard and just purse their lips and shake their heads,” said Mr. Colon.

“Nobody wanted to talk to me. One of my mates from South Betoota Polytechnic came over for a minute but used that minute to openly mock me, saying he’d have a chat but he wouldn’t want the contents of the conversation to be immediately sent to Google, Apple, and Microsoft so he just laughed and walked away,”

“I was only there for 20 minutes. I got stuck talking to the only other person there that nobody wanted to talk to. Reggie Crack from The Betoota Bugle. There are always News Corp people at these things, and nobody ever speaks to them. Is PwC the News Corp of the business management consultancy space now?”

“Even with me taking my lanyard off before I went in, they could smell it on me. They could just tell that I’m on $140,000. That I lease a BMW X1. That I’m on the PwC mixed touch team. That I have dreams of one day doing an intercompany transfer to somewhere cool like Tokyo or Amsterdam, but deep down, I’m too scared to leave my rapidly aging friendship circle. But what I’m even more afraid of is ending up like them, hitting my earning ceiling in the next 5 years because I know even deeper down that I’m terrible at my job and I’m making it up as I go. And I’m going to be living in the 2-bedroom Meriton dogbox my parents helped me into for the next 20 years because I won’t earn enough to actually live in a house like a real man. Oh Christ, I need to move over to EY before the shit really hits the fan, man.”

Colin then excused himself.

More to come.

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