EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

Married at First Sight producers have this year truly outdone themselves, by rounding up some of the most misogynistic, emotionally abusive wank stains Australia has to offer.

An inside source reveals that a majority of the grooms were actually discovered in real life, including Jesse, who was spotted busking as street magician in Murray Street mall and Shannon, who was tailgated on the streets after a producer saw his ‘Soot gets the Moot’ bumper sticker.

Harrison too, is alleged to have been headhunted after he was hospitalised after being so mesmerised by his reflection he walked headfirst into a post office window, which didn’t result in any injuries until he bashed the window with his fists for seducing him.

Speaking to one of the producers, who wishes to remain anonymous, The Advocate learns that a groom was actually kicked off the program during the filming process, but not for the reason viewers would think.

“It may be incredibly unethical, but we’ve found that men who truly despise women makes excellent TV”, said the producer.

“We were really on the lookout for emotionally stunted men who would be better off with a fleshlight and a mental health plan, and I’ve proud to say we’ve really outdone ourselves this season.”

“Unfortunately we did have to kick off one groom for being really nice to his wife.”

“Which is so boriiiing.”

More to come.


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