RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact

With money here in Betoota flowing harder than Niagara Falls, some friends can’t help but go troppo when they get cashed up. Their inner bastard rises up and their skulduggery shines through in the form of annoyingly cunty behaviours.

Like my former best mate, Drew Hall, back in the day he was the nicest guy. He was a struggling start-up entrepreneur (ewe, entrepreneur, that should have been a red flag right there) trying to get his FinTech app off the ground. Lo and behold it takes off and now he’s a multimillionaire rubbing shoulders with some of the biggest names in FinTech.

I witnessed his descent into unbridled cuntyness happen as if in slow-mo. First it was the fashion sense. He swapped his basic Tee out for a white linen shirt. Then his jeans were replaced by 3qr length chinos. Then the boat shoes happened.

Next minute he’s referring to himself in the 3 rd person. ‘Drewie loves cash!’ ‘Drewie’s king!’ he would say, scrunching up his face into a horridly self-satisfied grin.

These people, who only a few years ago you would have gladly taken a bullet for, get money and lose all sense of decency. What ever happened to staying humble and showing empathy to your fellow human?

You don’t have to put up with it. Here’s how you deal with your cunty friends who have money now.

JUDGE HARD – Once your friends have gone down the cashed up cunty road, there’s no going back for them. Anthropologically speaking, they’re no longer human.

They’re just a meat sack wobbling around on flesh pins gawking at you, thinking they are God’s gift.

You can’t reason with meat, so don’t. In fact, don’t say a word to them ever again. Just judge them hard! In your mind’s eye, judge them for the cunty wanker they’ve become. They won’t realise you’re doing it, which will give you a wondrous feeling of
having one over on them.

POSITIVE MANIPULATION – Cunty megalomaniacs need others to understand how great they are. So feed their megalomania by agreeing with every single awesome thing they say about themselves. This will lead them to take more risks and eventually their luck will run out and they’ll lose everything.

It’s at the point – rock bottom – that you may just get your old friend back.


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